CSI
Snakes

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The Young Turks in winter

Juanito says that a little murder was merely the means by which he planned to achieve immortality. He says, "I'm not going to die a barback or a dishwasher." "You're going to get the needle, menso," Vega hisses, adding, "You're going to die a murderer." Ah, but that's only a niggling detail so far as Juanito is concerned, because people will write songs about him. And they'll go a little something like this:

So I killed the woman, and ripped out her hair
While I shoved a dead snake down her throat.
My creepy bald friend did some dancing around and screaming
Because he's planning on applying for a performance grant, maybe at one of those artist's colonies
And he's a big fan of multitasking. Where was I? Anyway
After we took advantage of the fact that most people complaining to the FCC
aren't fluent in English, much less other languages
And screamed some rotten words in Spanish
We decided that revenge was best served low-carb
So we ate Veronica. And boy, is free-range reporter tasty!
It's too bad I look like a big puffy dork recalling this.

Well, it's more chilling in the original Spanish, because then you also get flashbacks. The show ends with Nicky looking as though he acutely regrets having a working knowledge of the language, then one final Latino-music-flavored note.

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CSI

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