CSI
Swap Meet

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For wives can also be lovers too

Back in the B-plot, David's puttering around the morgue when Warrick comes in. "Heard your suspect's looking pretty good," David says. "You heard right," Warrick chirps. He's all hepped up because not only did Charlie confess to killing his landlord, the blood on Charlie's watch matches his finely-filleted former landlord. But Charlie's still insisting he didn't kill his girlfriend and stuff her in a Ms. Pac-Man machine. The two of them engage in some dialogue about what could have possibly caused the rounded, blunt-force wound to Melissa's head, in an effort to flout the 48-minute rule. Fools, I say! Everything means something after the 48-minute mark.

Even this conversation with Mrs. Cunningham, wherein we discover that she did not actually have the urge to run off and be alone with her husband at the Bellagio. She had the urge to run off and be alone with another woman, which so offended Tom Cunningham's sensibilities, he went to the "what about the children?" argument and browbeat Marion here into saying they were together. She adds, "I swear, I don't know anything about what went on between him and Vanessa. I don't know."

But we soon will. Gil and Sara enter the Cunningham house, both of them glancing with concern at the Cunningham boy absorbed in his Xbox. Sara wanders into the study, notices an iBook on the desk, and hunkers down for a closer look at the area. After flipping through the magazines (which include the copy of Big Bodacious Babes that we've seen at least twice before), Sara shares her find with Gil, who sighs correctly, "Well, nothing new about this stuff." Yeah, you'd think the No. 1 show on TV could spring for some new props. Oh, wait -- Gil's critiquing it on artistic merits, pointing out that the Kama Sutra and several Pompeiian frescoes leave less to the imagination. He even name-checks the Decameron in his quest to make the point that sex can be an artistic subject. Sara, however, channels the spirit of Potter Stewart and tells Gil she knows porn when she sees it. Gil flips through the magazine, and a photo falls out. He sing-songs, "Here we go. A webcam photo. And she's wearing La Perla." Gil's a fast learner, I'll give him that. You think David and Warrick sat him down for a briefing on pricey underthings? Sara figures the photo -- which is from the neck to mid-thigh -- is of the late Vanessa Keaton.

Warrick and Nicky are back at what is now the site of two murders. Warrick walks us through the case: "The first victim was killed with a weapon of opportunity -- the table saw. The second victim gets a crack on the head." Nicky asks, "So you're thinking the weapon is still in here?" Warrick does. Nicky wonders why the killer would leave it there, and Warrick rebuts, "Well, the killer left the body in here." The two brainstorm about what the weapon might have been, and soon discover what the former shopkeepers used for security -- an old baseball bat. Murder weapon, meet Warrick. Warrick, meet the murder weapon. And this case is wrapped up with Marty's former customer, the wife of the landlord, being carted off in handcuffs.

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CSI

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