The Hunger Artist

Episode Report Card
Sobell: D+ | Grade It Now!
Out of the mouths of babes

After a shot of the Strip, we're back in the lab. Liam has run tests on the blood in the scarf; the blood matches Ashleigh's. Unfortunately, Warrick reports, the blood on the knife matches Rod's, owing to Bitter Dumped Ex's little incident with craft services. Gil sighs, and we see another shot of Ashleigh's post-mortem face.

Cut to the implements, spread out on a lit lab table. "The tools of a trade, the weapons of beauty," Gil says. Warrick looks up and snorts, "If people inflicted as much torture as women inflicted upon themselves, there'd be lawsuits." He does not finish that up with, "This is why I can totally understand how a woman would decline to get a bikini wax." Back on the screen, Nicky chimes in with, "Someone forgot to clean these too -- for a long time. Positive for blood all over the place." Gil is intrigued. He is then hailed by Liam, who's done tests on those epithelials that came off with the ring; to quote Liam, "It's like The Prince and the Pauper. Well, The Princess and the Pauper. The princess is a dead supermodel." Gil looks up, sporting the usual expression he's got when talking to Liam: "Yeah. And her pauper sister could be the killer."

Naturally, this is Gil's cue to spend some one-on-one quality time with a possible killer. We see him offering a hot dog to the crazy girl -- now shot so we can see her classically pretty bone structure -- and she accepts. Gil offers relish, and she goes into Sagacious Crazy Girl mode: "No, no...no, no...with all those preservatives, no, no, I don't want to be preserved. Thank you very much -- no. I mean, do you know what relish can do to your insides?" Gil deadpans that he'd have to investigate. Sagacious Crazy Girl tells him that he should, because "our insides can kill us." Gil asks if she has to be careful about what she eats. I'd snort about homeless people perhaps adapting to a more opportunistic dining philosophy, but I remember when I worked in DC, I used to give the homeless people by my Metro stop vouchers for the Health Zone over on K street -- you'd pay $1 per voucher, give out the voucher, and the recipient could head over to the Health Zone and get a hot vegetarian meal. So anyway, there I was, being careful and conscientious to be part of the solution, and not part of the problem, and one day, as I'm handing a guy a voucher, he lunges after me, screaming, "BITCH! I want meat or money!" And that's how I learned to begin asking panhandlers if they'd like a vegetarian meal instead of just giving them the coupon. I am surprised, however, when Sagacious Crazy Girl adopts the supermodel eating strategy -- "Everything's gotta come up -- out -- up -- out." Gil comments that she's just pretzeled Newton's Law. Sagacious Crazy Girl puts on a lucid expression and opines that everybody's twisted. Gil asks, "How about your sister?" Sagacious Crazy Girl replies, "My-my sister didn't have a sister." She then lays the Zone Diet on Gil. Gil takes all this in with his usual equanimity, then says casually, "Hey, Cassie, you know that scarf you gave Tookie?" Cassie acknowledges that she does; more importantly, she doesn't freak about Gil knowing her name. Thus emboldened, Gil continues, "Did your sister give that to you? Or did you steal it from her?" Cassie looks up from gnawing on her hot dog to say contemplatively, "I should have stole it." She gets angrier as she elaborates, "Because she-she stole from me." Gil watches Cassie nod emphatically and asks gently, "What did she steal from you?" "My life," Cassie asserts.

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