CSI
What's Eating Gilbert Grissom?

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This episode had nothing to do with food

Cut to Captain Exposition doing what he does best -- expositing in front of a whole group of people. He gives basically the same recap I just did, only without dramatic and contextually appropriate quotes. As Catherine explaining how the killer's MO is to apply never-drying blue paint to a hand rail and nab victims at a nearby fountain when they're washing their hands, we see Nicky inspecting a handrail while Sara prints a fountain. And then Brass is all, "No rest until we bring in this guy!" while Gil sits in a darkened room and ponders the killer.

Catherine, meanwhile, has decided she'd rather get some sun, even if she has to run a press gauntlet to do it. Damn the media and their pesky insistence on informing the public that a killer may be on the loose!

Gil, meanwhile, is getting the unwelcome news from Mia that the maggots coughed up male DNA. This totally screws the whole Blue Paint Killer angle, since that guy was known for preying on women. As Gil's digesting the bad news, Warrick comes by to complain that the building's crawling with press. Gil's all, "Tell it to the hand," and Warrick pleads, "If you don't say anything, they're just going to fill in the blanks --" "Screw the press, because for all I know, the dead body is an auto mechanic who just painted his house blue." Or it's an old member of the Blue Man Group.

Liam, meanwhile, has found a fraternity key, or what pieces survived the wood chipper. Catherine then takes the key to the Omega Zeta Pi, and the president smoothly explains the key: "Plebes are asked to swallow [the key] the first night of Hell Week." Nicky adds, "And then retrieve it and return it by the end of the week, am I right?" The pres grins, "You got it!" Catherine brings up the pesky little detail that hazing is illegal, a point that is as lost on this clown as physics on a milk cow. The guy smirks and says, "It's not hazing. It's a voluntary loyalty ritual." Catherine asks, "Political science major?" "Just back from Abu Ghraib," the kid shoots back. Oh, he does not. But can't you just see it? Catherine asks the would-be lawyer to explain how the kid who swallowed the key ended up dead, and the guy's all, "Ah…who...what now?" Nicky asks if any pledges have maybe gone missing in the past few days, and El Presidente's all, "Let me get back to you." Then he realizes the pretty, pretty legacy pledge Jonathan Avery Haywood III hasn't been around much. Catherine asks acidly, "So he's been missing for days, and you didn't bother to call anyone." El Presidente pleads Guy Etiquette -- "for all I knew, he was getting laid. Look, I'm the fraternity president, not his mother." Ah, the benefits of brotherhood -- being ignored to the point to wood-chipper disposal. Where do I sign up? As Nicky's getting ready to collect tooth- and hairbrush from the missing JAH III, two pledges come in, and El Presidente makes them fling their arms skyward and chant, "I'm a loser, I'm a loser, I'm a loser!" Nicky uses his SuperCSI vision to zoom in and notice the wet blue paint on one guy's hand.

Cut to Gil examining the painted rail in the dark and asking peevishly, "Why didn't Nicky find this before?" Catherine tells him Nicky was working from a campus security schematic that didn't have the rail listed, which is our first clue that all is not what it seems with said rail. She then inspects the base of the railing and notes that the cement fixing it in place is still fresh. Gil says in a tone of great upset: "So now he's not just painting railings, he's installing them!" You know, considering that this guy later goes on to rape and murder women, doing a little freelance landscaping seems like the least of the guy's crimes. Gil decides they need to dig up the railing, cement and all. Perhaps then they can search the fixture for clues as to how someone smuggles a whole railing onto campus and installs it without anyone apparently noticing.

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