Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B+ | Grade It Now!
Some Kind Of Agita

Tres Equis: Mr. Felix's Father, Gus, is Luis from Sesame Street! Hola, Luis! He's singing "Always and Forever," for Felix and Lita's mom and ¬°Ay, caramba! Put down the duckie, and cover little Elmo's eyes, because his wife Bibi IS NOT MARIA! So Luis has been a polygamist lo these 40 years, and has a secret family on the side? Does no one think of the children? I can't bear it. I'd rather listen to Claire ream Trevor than think of the scandalous implications, so thank Eros she shows up and does just that. During their bickering, which I think wants to be banter, Claire catches Trevor up on the whole bribe twist and they decide to find Nick the Dick and Possible Dick and get to the heart of the matter. Because the episode is almost over, he conveniently walks into Tres Equis, lamenting the fact that he can't find Riley anywhere. Trevor asks if he agreed not to see Riley, and when Nick seems confused, Claire remains solidly in the friend-role and sneers at Nick that it's on video and Riley saw it. Nick laughs and we jump to...

The Town Car: Greyson Davis sleeps as his driver takes him and his daughter away from her new identity, life and love. She then gets a text message that reads: "Did you watch the whole video?" D'oh. She takes Daddy's laptop out of his bag and does just that, because he has the funds to purchase a briefcase video camera, but can't afford to hire a middle-school student to edit the film for him. And so this time Riley watches past the point when Nick signs the document. She sees Strathmore pick it up to inspect, and Davis signs the check while he blathers about how this is in everyone's best interests. Then Strathmore reads, "Joe King." Greyson grabs the document and reads the same thing, but doesn't pause so much between words. "You're JoeKing?" They wait a beat in case you are too slow to get the joking pun, and then Nick says, "Yes, I am. Put away your checkbook, Mr. Davis. You don't have enough money to keep me away from your daughter." Riley's eyes fill with tears, as she takes a sidelong glance at her sleeping, meddlesome old man, and we cut to...

Tres Equis: We'll skip over how Luis-the-Polygamist dances cheek to cheek with THE WRONG WOMAN, and get right to Claire and Trevor. Felix tells Trevor that things didn't work out with him and Mira. Trevor yells, "Dude, that's my bead you're throwing away," but Felix says they weren't "on the same page." He then looks at his POLYGAMIST FATHER AND THE WRONG WOMAN, and then to his bitchy sister and possibly the right boy, and says, "Not like that." Shudder. We cut to Felix giving a toast to sigh Gus and Bibi that's so lovely, I have to drop my outrage and give it its due. It's because of his parents' example that he's still on his own. Thanks to them, he knows what true love looks like. So far, his relationships have fallen short, but he's going to keep looking, because he wants what they have. He then unwittingly slips in a little object lesson to both Claire and Nick (and an ego massage to Cupid) about how Gus and Bibi married after a 72 hour courtship, and lived happily ever after, all thanks to the fact that Gus was not afraid to dive in. Everyone raises their glasses of champagne as Felix says, "Mama, Pop, thank you for setting the bar so high. I love you. Cheers." Trevor lifts an entire bottle in response and says, "Salud!" on account of being the Roman god of love and all. Maybe he's courting the favor of Bacchus?

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