Cupid

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Cindy McLennan: B- | Grade It Now!
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The Gods Must Be Crazy

When the two doctors arrive at the recreation room, they see him standing on an end-table, conducting his makeshift choir. And although the American Idol judges frown upon sound-alikes, I applaud this one, and I'm reminded of Thomas's awesome taste in music, and then I miss Veronica Mars some more, and then I remember the mess that was the middle of its third season, and then I get over it. Claire has no trouble with any of that, nor does she have any trouble picking out which nut is hers to crack. An orderly joins her and Charles; his name is Isaac. Claire asks him to bring their newest patient to her office. Isaac must not be a fan of the The Beatles, because he doesn't even wait 'til the song is over. He faces the crowd and hollers. "That's enough, people." The patients are subdued into silence, except for the lone, brave soul on piano who keeps pounding the keys, waiting for the finale. He obliges and sings the "She Loves You" riff from the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah! His voice trails off as he passes Claire and Charles (mostly Claire), because if looks could kill, hers just killed all the fun.

Claire's Office: She greets her patient. "Hello, Mr...?" He says, "It's Cupid." So she tells him they have all night. He looks around the office and says, "It appears I'm free, too." And then there's a really gratuitous shot of Sarah Paulson running her hand over her derrière, in case we were too dead inside to pick up during the previous four minutes that she's sexy. Cupid leers appreciatively and suggests they hang up a Do-Not-Disturb sign, so Claire puts him right in his place about sexual innuendo and the doctor-patient relationship. Not to be deterred, he offers to disrobe, which brings Isaac the orderly to his feet (not like that). Claire dismisses him, saying she's "fine here." Isaac makes it clear he'll be right outside the door.

The session begins. Claire wants to know how she can help him, so Cupid explains that he's being punished. He's been exiled from Olympus and cannot return until he's matched 200 mortals into 100 couples that meet the gods' standards of twu luv. Zeus ought to be an easy sell. Guy's a 'ho. Apparently Cupid was expelled over the screwed up state of love and romance, and given instructions to relearn his craft, but he had problems taking the whole thing seriously, because he used to be able to match 100 couples before lunch. Of course he did that with help from his trusty bow and arrows. He whispers: "They're magic." Claire asks if he has those with him now. He looks at her like she's crazy. "You mean, at this moment?" Claire's a little sarcastic for a doctor. "Well, maybe you could shoot me and I'd more fully understand this magic." Slowly, Cupid says, "Do. You. See. A bow?" Claire changes her approach and asks him how long his quest will take him. He says, "Two weeks, max," then changes that to 10 days, then six. When Claire makes a notation in his file, Cupid ekes out, "Four!" And we jump to...

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Cupid

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