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Angel Cohn: C | Grade It Now!
Toy Soldiers

More shots of NYC, and then we're at Claire's singles group. A nerdy teacher is chaperoning a dance and has decided that he should bring a hot date to convince his dream girl that he's a hot commodity. Claire scolds him, but Trevor thinks he's found a kindred spirit. Trevor then suggests that they have more fun group activities and less "self-help talky-talk." I'm all for anything that involves Claire talking less, so let's go with Trevor on this one, shall we? He thinks that the singles group is just for people to scan for potential mates. Claire is horrified at this idea, but the members are all giggling, so she reluctantly agrees and even offers to bring cupcakes. Trevor's taking charge of the planning though.

The next day, Trevor runs into Claire's office, having waited until My Girl has taken a potty break, and asks Claire for a donation for the caterer. It's the simple cost of a plane ticket. Claire says no. But he says that her cupcakes don't go with the theme, which is Mardi Gras. Claire takes a moment to scold My Girl, who has returned from the bathroom, then she's back to looking disparagingly at Trevor. But he persists that he knows a great girl who can make Cajun food, and she's in high demand. Claire gives in when she hears that he knows this person. Ridiculous. My Girl even calls her on it, but Claire thinks this is the key to unlocking his past. Oh, for a smart shrink, she is so dumb.

After the break we see Robin at her restaurant talking to Trevor. At least she's smart enough to think he's a wackadoo and tells him she's already catering Brad Pitt's trip to Mars. He's sending an overnight delivery guy with a ticket anyway. Next thing you know we see her hopping out of a cab in Manhattan. They make clich├ęd small talk about things you see in New York, and she thinks that Tres Equis is a porn theater. She asks what is wrong with the blue states. That's very timely and topical... if this was on five years ago. He then takes her up to his apartment, which he's turned into a hotel room of sorts, with mints on the pillow. I don't see the string with the beads on it so he must have taken that so as not to arouse other weird questions from Robin. She's already asking Felix if they are planning on turning her into a sex slave, and warns that she's got cooking knives and a rape whistle. Is New York really such a terrifying place? She also complains that it is cold. Trevor asks for jambalaya to go.

After some more stock shots of the city, we see Trevor back in Claire's waiting room explaining to My Girl why he needs to eat his soup there. Joe walks out and smells the jambalaya and then basically steals it out of Trevor's hand. My Girl watches the exchange quizzically.

Tres Equis: The party is in full swing, with Trevor mixing drinks. Lita's wearing a big feather headdress and begs Trevor to cover her shift on Friday so she can see Madonna. He sees poor sad sack teacher looking for a hot chick and says they can make a deal. Claire's in the kitchen with Robin finding out just how much the Southern girl knows about Trevor. Turns out, not much. Why is Claire surprised? Really. She confronts Trevor, but he deflects by showing her how much fun everyone is having. Then he talks about how watching people dancing shows a lot about how they have sex. He demonstrates different styles, including one called the Punisher, which is mildly amusing. Claire doesn't dance. Naturally. It is hard to get your groove on when there is a big old stick shoved up your butt. She clarifies that she doesn't fast dance because a hundred years ago when she was a freshman in high school people made fun of her. She brings the subject back around to Robin. At which point Joe walks in. Claire's confused why he is there. Two seconds later Joe sees Peaches and a little lightbulb goes on above her head.

Robin explains how they knew each other. Trevor says he might be somewhat responsible for this coincidence. Claire drags Trevor out into the alley to yell at him. She thinks that Robin and Joe's relationship is doomed. This is the fight they have every week where he talks about true love and she babbles about him not really being a God. Then they walk into the kitchen and see Joe and Robin making out. But Joe runs off, Claire gloats, so Trevor runs after Joe, while Robin talks about how she'd imagined kissing Joe for ages. She goes to change her shirt. Trevor catches Joe and our Cupid has to explain how he stole the letters from the garbage and arranged this whole thing. Joe thinks that Trevor's a nutjob (makes sense) and wants the letters back so she doesn't think he's a stalker, but they are on the bed in Robin's hotel room/Trevor's apartment. When they get back upstairs Robin is reading them and crying; she's really glad that she saw the letters. Trevor walks slowly away.

The next morning Trevor wakes up to a call from Claire, who is looking for Joe because he missed his session. We see Joe and Robin all sweaty, then zoom out to see they are playing basketball in Trevor's room. He hears the noises and the "give it to me's" and walks in with his eyes closed. They are taking it slow, they haven't even had a real date yet. Trevor doesn't like that Southern folks don't jump into the sack two minutes after reuniting.

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