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Angel Cohn: C | Grade It Now!
Toy Soldiers

Then there's a musical montage of Trevor and Robin walking around the city. Then we see him sleeping on the floor and he wakes up from another nightmare. Later he's showering and asks for her to get a t-shirt out of his bag, where she spies a plane ticket. Then she's outside with her luggage hailing a cab. He runs out in a towel after her (I'm impressed with her quick packing skills!) and yells at him because he's flying to Winnipeg in the AM and didn't mention it. What, couldn't he have a business meeting? Or have decided not to go? Why is it the end of the world? And doesn't she have a business of her own she needs to get back to at some point? Anyway, she immediately jumps to the conclusion that despite the letters, she's just a weekend fling. He says he didn't tell her because he is a coward and was leaving the country instead of going back to Iraq. He's supposed to report for duty the next day. She immediately forgives him, they go into the bar (instead of back upstairs) and Joe tells her that the war has ruined him and talks about all the PTSD symptoms he has. Trevor walks in and sees the shirtless guy and makes a joke, but then everyone gets all serious.

At Claire's office, My Girl tries to stop him, but he busts in anyway, yelling at her for not revealing confidential patient information to him. They fight more about the God thing/doomed relationships. He tells her that it ruined the big date/homecoming dance that they never got. Claire says it is the least that he can do for them, because it is nice.

Robin makes plans to return home the next day. Joe says he'll see her off, then she's all sad because he won't be able to come play Sloshball (kegs conveniently located at first and third base) at her family reunion. Trevor throws a corsage at them and tells them to get ready for their rite of passage.

At some random high school, Claire and Trevor walk in with Joe and Robin. A snotty teen comes up and asks for their ID's, which perhaps they have left in their time machine. Carl (the teacher dude) swoops in to the rescue, assuring them it is no problem since Lita is there being his arm candy for the night. She, on the other hand, says that Trevor owes her. We see the true object of Carl's affection, across the room. Claire chastises Trevor for not being able to leave matchmaking alone for one night. He says this one he's doing with no hands and it is practically effortless... aside from bribing Lita. Claire psychobabbles about Carl's status. After seeing Joe and Robin take their school photo, she heads over to the DJ and requests a country song called "Fearless Heart." She slips the guy a twenty and he says it will be just like the set of Hee Haw. Joe loves this song apparently, and he's brave and he is haunted but not a coward... She talks about how brave Joe is, and then brings up Trevor's issues and inability to talk about his life. He says he's not a chicken because at least he isn't afraid to dance. The Steve Earle tune starts to play and Joe and Robin dance/makeout on the dance floor. Then that infernal Duffy song starts to play as Trevor gets Carl to ask his dream girl to dance (she agrees) and Claire starts dancing all by herself in the middle of a bunch of teenagers. It's not terrible like Elaine, but it involves a lot of bouncing and waving her arms as if she's jump roping. Then Trevor comes over and lassoes her; she plays along and they shake it for a while. Lita gives some high school kid his dream night by dancing with him. Then we're back at the hotel/apartment and Joe and Robin are having sex.

The next morning he writes Robin another letter. At the airport he gives it to her and instructs her to wait until she's on the plane to open it. They share a tearful goodbye. She sits on the plane and opens the letter and then gets up and runs screaming past the flight attendants begging them to keep the door open for her. She is exactly the reason that my flights are always delayed. I hate people like that.

She runs back to Trevor, because that somehow makes sense. She tells him that Joe is reporting to duty and going back to Iraq. She says if he died she'd feel really bad, and she needs Trevor's help to find him. He goes to Claire's office, thinking his file might have the necessary intel. Of course, it is Sunday at this point even though I think the party was like three days ago and Robin mentioned that happened on a Friday. There was the night of the party (Friday). The night where he slept on the floor and had the bad nightmare after they did their NY sightseeing (Saturday). The night of the homecoming dance and the sex (Sunday). So by my math, this should be Monday, but I'm guessing the show is pretending that the middle night didn't happen, or that maybe they took a nap midday with blackout curtains in the windows. Anyway, they break in with keys that he must have stolen? Or borrowed? A cop shows up and Trevor nervously wonders if he's going to get shot. Robin shows "Joe" his file, and Claire walks in and sees who the cat burgler is. She dismisses the cop. She's got her lecturing hat on, but Robin jumps in with the news that Joe's on his way to Iraq. Claire doesn't think he's emotionally stable and helps them track down the commanding officer; they head to some sort of base/bus depot. Robin runs around, and then she sees Joe and tells him that they only had two (or so) nights together, and that he should run away. She has lots of unattractive qualities so he shouldn't risk his life because of her. She's seen High School Musical like 30 times. But he likes that kind of Zefron devotion in a girl, so he's shipping out so that he can come back to her someday instead of being a deserter living out his days in Canada. And he can't take her to Canada because she doesn't like the cold and shouldn't leave her family. So he's going to war, and then he'll be back for her. Trevor takes credit for the love match/Joe going to war. The bus drives off and we see Joe showing the homecoming snapshot and Robin running after it with the letters in her hand. The end. No pixie dust or anything.

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