Theme Song!

Trevor goes to Tommy's locksmith shop to get the story. He's a former jewel thief, which makes the customer who overhears their conversation feel just as terrifically sure as you'd imagine. Tommy went away for five years and is now pining for his parole officer, who hates him. Trevor notes she's "artic." Tommy talks like guys only talk on TV -- asking Trevor if he's never had a thing for "one of those icy know-it-alls, who just make you crazy." Trevor says he's got one of those who thinks he's crazy. If Scott was watching with me, he'd crack that while I'm not icy, two out of three ain't bad, but.... When he wakes up, I'll have to tell him the show got him in trouble, even when he wasn't watching.

Trevor might as well take out a chart with him and Claire on one side and Tommy and Paula on the other as he explains to Tommy that Paula's just trying to maintain a professional distance between them, and that Tommy should just ignore that, because Trevor always does. Tommy shows Trevor his latest parole report in which Paula calls him "charming" and "intelligent" but says he's still got his pre-prison mindset and evades responsibility in his daily life. Is anyone else watching at home wondering why anyone tells Trevor anything? When he's tending bar or sitting in on one of Claire's singles group sessions, I can hand-wave people spilling to him, but the way he met and has now connected with Tommy isn't working for me. Anyhow, Trevor thinks setting up Paula with Tommy is going to be a piece of cake. When Tommy isn't interested in his offer, Trevor says he must not love Paula then. Tommy goes into a long speech about how much he loves her, which boils down to the fact that he'd would have gone back to the jewel thief's life with his ex-wife/partner in crime, except he fell for Paula so hard and fast. Trevor's got a plan, and he gives Tommy the Tres Equis address and tells him to meet him there, tonight. Pixie dust.

Next, Trevor attends Claire's singles group. At the meeting, a cop confesses that he and his female partner got tipsy and then frisky and now they're uncomfortable with each other. Claire recommends an air-clearing conversation between them. Trevor recommends getting drunk and staging a repeat performance. The cop likes Trevor's approach, better. The group murmurs its agreement. Most of their relationships have started under the influence of a social lubricant. Claire reminds them they're all at a singles group because they're big, frigging losers, or something. Trevor argues that alcohol doesn't make people do things they don't want to do; it makes them do precisely what they want to do. Eh, yes and no. I'm having a glass of wine right now, and yet I'm still covering this show. Claire tells them to ignore him. I try to ignore her. I wish I could fire her from the recaps, like Jacob fired Randy.