Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: C+ | Grade It Now!
Isn't It Ironic?

Tres Equis: Tommy's been sitting at the bar for two hours waiting for Trevor's plan to materialize. He's starting to think Trevor just wants something stolen. I thought parolees couldn't hang at bars. I'd research that, if was a weecap for a better show. Trevor finds the suggestion that he'd steal funny, so he calls Felix over and asks if he could ever imagine him stealing. Felix points out that hanging around while on the clock is a form of stealing and tells him to get back to work. "More bartending. Less Cupiding." It's an awkward moment that feels like it was stuck in there and later we'll find out why it was.

Paula calls Tommy while he's sitting at the bar. It's 3:00 AM. Her lock's broken and she's having trouble getting into her apartment. Trevor's rationale is that at the parole office, their relationship has to be professional. At her place at 3:00 AM, they're just "Tommy and Paula -- young lovers." Tommy is not impressed that Trevor's plan just amounted to changing their setting, but Trevor goes into a defense of setting that involves kissing under the Eiffel tower, etc. Tommy reports there's a problem with this plan. Paula isn't alone. She's with her friend Heather. (No, that isn't the HoYay, either). As he and Tommy make their way to Paula's, Trevor says he'll lure the friend away.

Paula's friend Heather (comedienne Amy Schumer) is drunk. She's drunk, and she refuses to be lured away by Trevor. They must need her around to reveal that Paula loves Tommy right back. Oh, look! I think Parker Poophead has a touch of grey at his temples. I like it. Anyhow, Tommy breaks into Paula's apartment by going up to the roof and then climbing in a window, because he was a jewel thief first, remember, and that's totally easier than trying to unstick a stuck lock, even though he's a locksmith, now. He goes off and does his thing, opens the door with a Ta dah! and Paula is impressed. Not as impressed at Heather though, who says, "How awesome is that?! No wonder you're totally in love with him." Thank you for your service, Heather. Commercial! Oh, look, it's a promo for Lost which I totally wish I was writing about, right now. Those of you who let it go when it was sucking out loud should pick it back up. It's now better than ever. Truly. I know. I'm as surprised as anyone. You wouldn't believe how many times Lost and I have broken up in the past. Oops. I've got to take my kids to school, now. Be right back.

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