Dallas
Dallas

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B | 458 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
A Kick in the Cattle Baron's Balls

John Ross drinks and heads over to talk to Elena. She agrees to remain business partners, tells him about the new oil leases she's buying, but their romance is over. J.R. catches up with Mitch Lobell at the brisket bar and prods him about the contracts. Mitch tries to explain away the holdup, but J.R. is losing patience. "You know, there was always one person you prized above all others," J.R. says with just the right mix of congeniality and menace. "I hate to hit a man below the belt, but you know I will." Mitch looks like he just pooped himself a little. J.R., on the other hand, looks delighted with himself.

Stinging from his breakup with Elena, John Ross seeks out Marta. They head over to her hotel room and start making out. They stop just long enough for Marta to drug John Ross's drink. Once he's good and woozy, she gets him over to the bed and sneakily turns on the video camera hidden in the overhead light. Some folks in the forum have wondered whether a sex tape would be much of a threat to John Ross. Single, consenting adults in bed is hardly taboo. Also, why drug him at all? He was more than willing to do the deed while (relatively) sober. Maybe it's actually a "not having sex" tape. "Here's reputed stud John Ross Ewing, not having sex with the woman in his bed!"

Bobby and Ann talk before he heads off to surgery. She thinks he's already given up and that he's selling Southfork because he doesn't believe he'll be around to run it. He also doesn't think Christopher is ready to take over.

John Ross wakes up the next morning in bed still wearing his underpants, one wrist bruised and the other wrist still tied up with rope. Marta hands him a big pile of money, because, unlike Christopher, John Ross is a whore. Actually, it's just the down payment that John Ross needs to hush up Mitch Lobell.

Christopher asks Elena for her help as a geologist in working on a way to safely drill for methane. Christopher says he wants to prove to Bobby that he can run Southfork. Not entirely sure what one has to do with the other, but whatever. Rebecca's brother Tommy overhears the whole thing, on account of him lurking around in the bushes outside. He reports back to his sister, who is trying to make a pie out of the Ewing recipe book. "Ann offered me a job on the ranch," he says. "I'm in." They're plotting something against the Ewings, but Rebecca doesn't seem to be as into it as Tommy.

Dallas

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