Hedging Your Bets

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B | Grade It Now!
A Kick in the Cattle Baron's Balls

Back on the ranch, Rebecca's brother Tommy has a chat with Ann. He wants to stay in town and find a job so he can be close to his sister, he says. He doesn't come right and ask her for a job, but he's kind of dropping the hints. Meanwhile, Christopher shows up to talk his daddy out of selling Southfork. He doesn't like the idea of selling the family home just to fund his new business. Bobby explains he's selling Southfork so that Christopher and John Ross won't have to fight over it. Christopher thinks his father doesn't trust him to run things and asks him for a chance to prove himself. Bobby looks sad and says, "I gave my word, son -- I shook on it." And if we can't trust the handshake we give a total stranger, what can we trust?

In the kitchen, Rebecca approaches Ann. "Can I talk to you about something?" she asks. "I'm feeling a little insecure." They have a boring talk about Christopher and Elena and Ann reassures Rebecca she has nothing to worry about. She gives her a book of old family recipes that'll be sure to keep her man happy. If that doesn't work, she can try riding horses every day to strengthen her thigh muscles.

John Ross stops by Mitch Lobell's office. It turns out that Mitch, like everyone else in town, is ready to double-cross his employers. He's not only going to show the contracts to J.R. before presenting them to Bobby, but he's the one who made it possible for John Ross to secretly drill on his uncle's land. As Mitch states, he betrayed a client of 30 years for $500,000. He's not saying this out of regret, mind you, but as a preface to demanding even more money. "If you don't figure out how to get me two million by the Cattle Baron's Ball, not only am I gonna tell Bobby you set him up, I'm gonna tell J.R. that you're planning on screwing him over." How could he do either of those things without implicating himself? If John Ross can't even outsmart this scumbag lawyer, what hope does he have of besting J.R.?

John Ross goes into his favorite bar and is annoyed to find Christopher already there. "They don't serve sake at his bar, cousin, or whatever the hell they drink in China." Maybe he's just pretending to be colossally stupid so that people will underestimate him. They argue about family and how Christopher isn't really a Ewing as far as John Ross is concerned. Christopher brings up the mystery email and John Ross stealing Elena from him. He's all, "You better grow eyes in the back of your head, because I'm coming for you!" Christopher exhibits all the ferocity of a chipmunk guarding a peanut. It's kind of adorable and hilarious and not at all threatening.

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