The Last Hurrah

Episode Report Card
admin: B | 1 USERS: B-
Blackmail and Barbecue
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Dallas: Bobby sold Southfork to a fake conservancy. Mitch Lobell, the family lawyer, helped J.R. and John Ross with the fakery, but at a price. The young'uns were all in a tizzy over the mysterious email that put a halt to Christopher and Elena's marriage plans. Cliff Barnes brought his brand of brimstone and crazy back to town. John Ross had a fling with a woman who isn't really Marta Del Sol. Christopher and Elena got cozy. Rebecca found out, but decided she loves Christopher anyway.

Christopher dreams about hopping into the sack with Elena, then wakes with a start next to his wife. They must be late sleepers, because John Ross and J.R. are already halfway through their tenth scheme of the day. John Ross gets a call from Marta (she's still in his phone as Marta Del Sol for some reason) and ignores it. He and his daddy talk about how to get Mitch Lobell off their backs. They decide to set up Lobell's son for a felony drug possession, which would be his third and a doozy under the "three strikes" law. Knowing Lobell's weakness for the ladies, J.R. suggests they get Marta to help out, but John Ross says she's getting too clingy. Asking her to help set someone up on drug charges would practically be like asking her to marry him. John Ross decides to call Rebecca instead. Even though this is just moments since the last time we saw Rebecca, she's wearing totally different lingerie and sitting in a totally different bed in a totally different bedroom. John Ross says he wants to meet up with her to discuss the mystery email. Maybe they can also figure out the weird lack of bedroom continuity. Cue the opening credits.

J.R. meets up with an investigator named Bum who tells him that Marta's real name is Veronica Martinez. This is of little importance, since everybody keeps calling her Marta. She also suffers from bipolar disorder and has been arrested twice for stalking ex-boyfriends, one of whom she went after with a skinning knife. J.R. is delighted and sends Bum off on his next assignment.

Southfork. Everybody's packing up the place ahead of the sale and getting ready for a goodbye barbecue. Tommy helps out by lifting a few boxes and kissing some ass. Christopher and Elena talk business over breakfast and carefully time their awkward canoodling to coincide with Rebecca's entrance. She looks slightly aghast, but recovers quickly and heads off to her secret meeting with John Ross. Meanwhile, Bobby's being kind of a baby about not helping Ann with packing up his family's belongings. Yeah, it's painful, but whatever. He's the one who decided to sell.

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