The Last Hurrah

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B | 1 USERS: B-
Blackmail and Barbecue

She goes back to Southfork to find Tommy in her bedroom. He's mad because she didn't install that spyware on Christopher's computer like she was supposed to and it's getting in the way of their stealing the methane patent. So instead, Tommy downloads the family files off Christopher's computer in the hopes of uncovering some dirt to use against the Ewings. This is a terrible plan and Rebecca and Tommy are terrible cons.

Marta wants to make sure John Ross isn't late for one of their dates again. This involves getting Neiman Marcus to open after hours so she can get him a fancy new Piaget watch. Tying him to a chair would have been a lot cheaper. In the middle of this, Rebecca calls to tell him she couldn't go through with framing Lobell's son. When John Ross tells Marta about it, she offers to take care of Lobell herself like it's no bigger an errand than, say, picking up the dry cleaning.

Back on the ranch, that poor cow is still trying to give birth. Bobby has his arm all up in her and announces that the calf is all turned around and its hooves have punctured the uterus. Bobby wants to get the vet over to cut the calf out, which will, unfortunately, kill the mother. Christopher wants to save them both, but there isn't time and there's a risk both would be lost. He has to choose either Rebecca or Elena -- er, the calf or the cow.

Morning. J.R. finds Elena at the breakfast table and tries to sweet-talk her into inviting John Ross to the barbecue. Why didn't Bobby ban Elena from Southfork along with John Ross? He reminisces about John Ross's childhood crush on Elena. "I doubt he ever would have finished a whole book if it weren't for you," J.R. says. "He was dyslexic, not stupid," Elena says. "Yeah," J.R. says, dismissively. He tells her to think about the invite, then goes off to have breakfast with Sue Ellen. Cliff Barnes has offered to fund her campaign, but Sue Ellen changes the subject to John Ross. She isn't entirely sure that J.R. has his best interests at heart. J.R. says he wants a fresh start. Sue Ellen looks as flustered as a schoolgirl the minute she gets around J.R.

Bobby and Christopher bring the new calf out to meet his new mama. "It's a shame we had to put the mother down," Bobby says. On the plus side, everyone gets double helpings of brisket at the barbecue. They watch the calf frolicking and talk about Christopher being adopted and needing to make a choice about Rebecca. It's a little bit sweet, but also kind of weird. Christopher's idea of doing the right thing is to present Elena with a check for $20,000. He tells her he doesn't want her coming back to him later and trying to claim a piece of his methane action. She's stunned. "Are you kidding me?" she asks. "I wish I were," he says. "You're ambitious, Elena. Out to prove yourself and to prove to everyone else that you're not just the help's daughter." He points out her business dealings with John Ross and secretly drilling on Southfork. He says she compromises her integrity for money. He's not wrong, but that's not why he's being cruel. It's not like she's a bear he raised by hand and then has to scare off so she doesn't trust humans again. No, he's a wuss and he doesn't want to have to deal with temptation, so he's putting it all on her to stay away from him.

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