Things pick up where they left off last week, with Rebecca sobbing to Christopher about the mystery email. She pins it on her brother Tommy and says she never knew the full extent of the trickery involved. Nobody believes her, even when Tommy, trying to salvage their con, takes all the blame. Just when everyone's trying to recover from this little revelation, J.R. pops up to say, "Hi, I own Southfork now!" Bobby learns that Marta and the Del Sol Conservancy deal were both fakes. J.R., of course, has left himself a nice, clean path in this minefield of crap. He explains his part of the deal by saying he'd heard Cliff Barnes was going to buy Southfork for some nefarious purpose, so he swooped in and bought it instead. Why, he's darned near a hero!
Bobby doesn't believe him, but he's not left with much recourse. His new lawyers (Mitch Lobell has fled town) say there's nothing he can do unless they can prove J.R. was part of the trickery, or at least knew about it. When John Ross learns his daddy cut him out of the deal, his first instinct is to rat him out, but J.R. convinces him nothing has really changed. Just because John Ross's name isn't on the deed doesn't mean he won't inherit Southfork one day. In the meantime, J.R. leaves town for some mysterious reason and leaves John Ross in charge of the newly begun drilling operation.
Christopher decides he wants to fight fire with fire — or dirt with dirt. He sneaks into John Ross's condo and finds the homemade sex tape Marta left behind. Remember when she drugged John Ross and secretly recorded their roll in the hay? It's pretty tame, considering the lengths she went to. The only naughty thing about it is that John Ross calls her by her real name while in the throes of ecstasy, which sort of implicates him in the shady deal. Christopher doesn't want to hurt Elena, since she sort of believes John Ross to be a decent fellow, so he doesn't expose the recording outright. Instead, he sort of threatens John Ross with it. He's not very convincing at fighting dirty. Stay tuned for the full weecap and a potentially far more interesting plot involving Ann and her creepy-hot ex-husband.
Rebecca's still in the middle of telling Christopher about the mystery email that ruined his and Elena's relationship. She prefaces her confession with declarations of love, but finally admits that it was her brother Tommy who sent the email. Rebecca claims she only knew where Christopher would be on the not-so-fateful day they first met. I can't tell if Julie Gonzalo is terrible in this scene or if Rebecca is supposed to come across like she's lying about it all. It seems painfully rehearsed, but is it the actress or the character? Christopher storms off into the opening credits.
He's worked up a full head of steam by the time he charges out into the middle of the barbecue and starts punching Tommy in the face. The fight could stand to go on for a while, but Bobby pulls Christopher off Tommy. The whole ugly mess comes out in front of the shocked guests. Tommy tries to take the blame for the whole thing, but nobody really cares. Bobby has a ranch hand drag him off the property. Christopher storms up to his bedroom to pack up his clothes, then ends up storming off the ranch without his suitcase. He does a lot of storming around in this episode. Elena, having witnessed the whole thing, apologizes to John Ross for not believing him. "I shouldn't have accused you of sending that email," she says. "I just need to know you're not going to chase after him," he says. This guy continues to act like such a neglected little puppy that I expect Sarah McLachlan's "In the Arms of an Angel" to start playing at any moment. Elena swears she and Christopher are through, what with him treating her like an expensive hooker with his $20,000 check. They hug and look sad. May they find some comfort there.
The next morning, Bobby and Ann have coffee and worry about Christopher. Bobby's pissed at both of the Sutter siblings, but Ann seems madder at Tommy than at Rebecca. As if they didn't have enough to worry about, a courier shows up to give them the papers proving that J.R. now owns Southfork. Wasn't this whole thing supposed to take a month? Maybe time passes quicker in Dallas than it does for the rest of the world. Anyway, Bobby charges into J.R.'s room all in a tizzy. J.R.'s explanation is that he found out Marta was planning on selling Southfork to Cliff Barnes. He thought it was odd, but figured that was the deal Bobby made. "When I heard that vulture Barnes was trying to steal Southfork, get his hands on the ranch and all the oil my boy found under it, I got a group of investors together and swooped in, and bought it from Del Sol." Ann and Bobby stare at him because they can't believe the wheelbarrow of crap he's pushing. J.R. promises to start drilling right away. "Ewing Oil is back in business!" J.R. ever so generously offers to allow Bobby to continue living at the ranch, positively glowing as Bobby stews in impotent rage. Ann says she'd been warned about J.R., "But never in my wildest imagination did I think you could stoop to this." J.R.: "Well, Annie, you're just gonna have to work on your imagination." Hee! Seriously, though. It's like these people keep forgetting who they're dealing with.