Everything is heating up and the conspiracies run vast and deep, much like my love of Lester Freamon. And love on ya’, casting people, for picking up two of the free agents from The Wire, even if their evilness is slightly disconcerting. But let’s go back a bit. After last week’s courtroom showdown, Patty is even more determined to bring down Ultima National Resources. She tries to join forces with an energy regulator, but Ultima’s evil president beats her to the punch (literally, I’m thinking) and the federal energy guy just can’t help Patty. Come on, fed! What are you paid for except to put your personal safety at risk in the face of environmental destruction? Doesn’t the EPA have a SWAT team?
But don’t think it’s all work and no play over at Hewes & Associates. It’s Tom’s ten-year anniversary at the firm, and Patty is hosting a party in his honor at her apartment. She invites Ellen, because what says "party" more than post-traumatic flashbacks from visiting the scene of your near-death? Aw, heck -- they can just cover Ellen in glitter and streamers while she twitches. In fact, Patty may have invited her just to watch her fidget, because Patty is on to her double-crossing ways. After Patty grills her about where exactly she picked up the infant mortality case, Ellen starts to think the gig is up, but she tries to cover, claiming the FBI has pictures of her leaving the office after last season’s suicide. Her blackmail spiel might work, or Patty may try to kill her again. And what Ellen doesn’t know is that somebody followed her to her meeting with the FBI. And that Uncle Pete is a criminal mastermind. A frail, senior-citizen mastermind, like an Uncle Junior who doesn’t look so much like that freaky guy from the Six Flags ads. And it seems that no one knows what he is up to and what he has done and what he will do in the future. Speaking of people who you don’t know what they're up to, let’s look at Wes. He is definitely reporting to someone, and he is definitely well-armed, but who is directing him? Uncle Pete? Patty? Frobisher? Or someone else entirely? And why does he care that Ellen is meeting with the FBI? And why is he so chummy with the homicide detectives? And who is he murdering in the back seat of the town car? And when is he growing his moustache back? So many questions with so few answers.
Purcell has sold his brownstone and turns down Kendrick’s job offer. He is out of the business, despite Kendrick’s promise that he is personally cleaning up West Virginia, one Skoal can at a time. Purcell doesn’t care right now. He is too busy flashing back to his dead wife telling him that if he doesn’t call the EPA about the impending environmental disaster, she will. Purcell is so wrapped up in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice Kendrick’s pants are on fire. He has Lester Freamon strong-arm the environmental regulator to make sure that no one notices he is poisoning the earth. He can’t have that going on while he works on his merger scheme. He also can’t have Patty’s husband poking around into his company’s financials. No one needs to know that the merger makes no financial sense. That’s funny, because no one needs to know that Patty’s husband is sleeping with some smokin’ hotress. Maybe the two can work out some sort of deal?
You remember that one time when Patty told Ellen that she was like the daughter she never had? Well, Patty is like the boss I never had. I'm also starting to think that Patty should probably be seeing someone about her massive mood swings. One week she is arranging for Ellen's death, the next she is inviting her out for drinks. Last week she put her in her place over going to West Virginia, this week she and Ellen are getting side-by-side spa treatments. Why? I don't know! Who does that with their boss? I mean even if your boss was nice enough to give you a spa day, who would expect you to go with them? Any time you see your boss's toes is...awkward. I've worked in a fair number of offices and even when I worked in fashion and you would sort of expect spa treatments to happen, it still didn't happen. Anyway. Patty and Ellen sit in matching white robes at some day spa and I have to interrupt here because I am excited to report that I am vacuuming while I write this recap. How is this possible? No, I do not have a laptop stand on my vacuum cleaner, nor do I have a cleaning lady. No, I got a Roomba! Seriously it had been on my Amazon wish list for, like, three years and someone finally bought it for me. Best Christmas present ever. Robot vacuuming is completely mesmerizing and if I didn't have the willpower of a founding father I would be staring at it right now as it makes its little figure eights around the house. Currently the little robot is in the bedroom cleaning under the stairs, under which reside a collection of dust bunnies so grandiose in scale that I once thought my dog was hiding under there, but he wasn't. It's just too hard to reach under there and vacuum because you have to lie on the floor and stretch and it's far too close to a push up for comfort. Luckily the robot does not share my compunction about exercise. I think it's moving the chairs out of the way now. Now if I could only find a robot that could do the laundry. Anyway, Patty and Ellen are wearing matching robes, begging the question did they get undressed next to each other? Isn't that taking this just a bit too far? Patty asks Ellen if she ever told her how she picks a case. Apparently Patty's brand of righteous justice all starts with a seed of anger. She cultivates that seed until it blooms and grows into a full-blown rage. (Anyone else just get "Edelweiss" stuck in their head?) Once that blooming and growing happens, Patty has to take the case because anger unpunished causes wrinkles. And we all know how she feels about wrinkles. Ellen hails the nearest aesthetician to upgrade her facial to include an anti-wrinkle algae scrub, because she has a lot of unresolved anger. Patty is going after Ultima National Resources and if Daniel Purcell is a casualty, so be it.