As Ellen enters her hotel, she sees Phil and a woman pretending to make separate exits. Ellen may be a crap actor who can barely hold up the weight of her own head, but even she managed to put two and two together and not fall over. Phil covers fairly well when Ellen goes to greet him, but it's too late. Ellen calls the FBI agents, er, agent. I miss Mario Van Peebles already. Are we 100% sure he didn't fake his death? Why did Agent Glenn have to live? Why? Why?! Oh god why?! Ellen tells Agent Glenn her news. He suggests that since Ellen doesn't know how Patty will react to the news that she should just sit on it for now and keep it for some rainy day when she feels like ruining Patty's life. When Agent Glenn suggests doing nothing with the juicy tidbit, Ellen makes a face like Agent Glenn cut one in the room. Fake fart face may be her finest acting to date.

Claire Maddox is wearing extremely puffy sleeves. Actually they are just puffy at the bottom. It's kind of pirate-y. She is playing fake nice with Walter Kendrick who is getting choked up over signing some papers to create a library in his illiterate grandfather's honor. She pats him on the back and before she leaves she offers up a monotone apology for questioning him and his business. She claims she only wanted to protect him. He apologizes too, for overreacting. Claire reassures him that she trusts his leadership of UNR. Kendrick nods, he knows that.

Tom debriefs Ellen on the fact that Patty has granted her first personal interview in over a decade to the hauntingly familiarly title magazine called New York Style. Sounds like a mag that was aiming for Vanity Fair and ended up at Life & Style, which makes me kind of sad for Patty that she has sunk to these depths. I bet last season's Patty would have got the real New York Magazine. The magazine is doing a profile of Patty and Phil as New York's elite power couple. Oh that explains Phil's philandering within the city limits: it's the curse of the public profile. You declare you're in love in the pages of People magazine or that you're the happiest couple ever in US Weekly and you are doomed. Doomed! Tom warns Ellen that Patty granted the magazine full access and so Ellen better prep her glowing remarks. Ellen looks confused that anyone would want to talk to her and, well, I agree. Cut to the reporter interviewing Tom about balancing the pressure of a high profile job and a family life. Tom goes on and on about Patty's grace and equanimity and her mothering skills. He manages not show his profile so the reporter can't see that his nose has grown six inches. The reporter asks if Patty has any flaws and when Tom asks it to be off the record, the reporter makes a great show of turning off her recorder. Tom leans in and reports that Patty has no flaws, not a one. His nose knocks the reporter off her chair.