London, Of Course

Episode Report Card
LuluBates: A | 1 USERS: A+
Fieri Facias

Ellen stops by Patty's apartment to drop off some papers and it just happens to be when the photo shoot is happening. Sure, sure Ellen, the papers just had to be delivered right then. Phil and Patty are getting their make up touched up and Ellen jokes with Phil, who bolts from Ellen's incriminating presence as soon as possible. The reporter obviously wants to speak with Ellen and Patty encourages it because Ellen knows all her secrets. Ellen can't help but make a serious WTF at that, but the reporter doesn't notice. Aw, that's nice that New York Style Magazine hires the visually impaired! As the photographer shoots and Patty and Phil pose, Ellen looks a little sick to her stomach. You know she's going to tell Patty despite Agent Glenn's suggestion. Besides, who takes advice from Agent Glenn?

Ellen boldly opens Patty's weird rattan office door (did she buy it at Pier 1?) and she is so evilly glarey that her eyes are about two feet in front of her. She stomps towards Patty's desk demanding to know why she shut down her investigation of Frobisher. Without looking up Patty coldly asks whether someone invited Ellen into her office. Man, even the top of Patty's head can out act Rose Byrne. I don't remember Ellen being quite this bad last season -- did she catch her inability to act from Nicolas Cage? Of course I wasn't recapping this last season so maybe I was more easily able to ignore it. Anyway. Ellen barks that Patty's investigator refuses to look into the links between Calder Security and Frobisher and Patty shrugs. She pulled the plug on the investigation because, as Ellen should remember, they are under federal investigation and she is in no way going to draw attention to the Frobisher case. Ellen huffs and puffs and Patty, like, rises up and towers over Ellen and spews flames out of her eyes as she tells Ellen that they are at war with UNR and the FBI is investigating her and if Ellen doesn't like it she can just quit. Ellen turns on her heel like a petulant tween and stomps out still glaring.

Ellen is hiring a private investigator, one Mr. Wilcox. She ran a background check on him and is impressed with the fact that he never worked for Patty Hewes, his time in the military, as well as his experience and use of industrial strength hair products. The two combined create some pretty unique MacGuyver-esque possibilities. Mr. Wilcox wants to know why someone so young can sing the words so sad (yay Smiths' lyrics successfully worked in!). Kids her age don't usually hire private investigators with hair product experience, especially ones who have connections via their high-powered law firms. Ellen explains that it is a private matter involving a dead fiancé, a culprit she can't quite prove did it, and a need to bring down her boss, preferably with a bad hair day gone deadly.

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