Damages
London, Of Course

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Ellen's private investigator hands her a report on Calder Security. Know whose face is on the stationary? The Hey-It's-That-Guy! overwrought dad. According to Mr. Wilcox, Calder Security has extensive connections to military, black ops, Jack Bauer, Wolverine, and the Bristows. Also, the cops and someone higher up in the force. Ellen wants to take them all down, but Mr. Wilcox knows these guys are professionals and doesn't think they will be able to find any connection to Frobisher. Ellen wants him to try anyway. All her money is at his disposal. Okay, we know Ellen got some huge bonus at the end of the Frobisher trial, but her hotel suite is what? $300 night? If you figure she has some weekly rate? And her personal hairstylist is what? $100 a day? Student loans are probably $1,000 a month. NYC lawyers tend to make in the $175, 000 range in their second year. Well, she doesn't eat, so that probably helps. Before he goes, Mr. Wilcox hands Ellen an envelope and the words, "You were right." Ellen takes out the pictures and gawks at them. I bet it's that picture of the guy who put his kitten in a bong. Those pictures are freaky.

The next day in the office, Ellen slips an envelope into the mail delivery cart. Then she stops by Patty's office for a chat and Patty tells her that the reporter would like to interview her for the Patty and Phil show. Ellen looks fake humble like she really wants to say "Moi?" and then agrees to do it. But she is dying to know how Patty and Phil make it work. As Patty blissfully tells Ellen the secret to a long marriage, the new mail delivery guy (who is no Uncle Pete), drops off a FedEx envelope for Patty, which she opens while she is talking. Obviously it's pictures of Phil kissing another woman. The same woman he kissed in London and at Ellen's hotel. So, at least he's consistent. Patty doesn't say anything for a long time and Ellen fake asks her what could be the problem. Patty claims it is nothing and she has to get back to work. Ellen smiles to herself as she gets up to go.

Ellen goes straight from sabotaging Patty's marriage, I mean, opening her very dear friend's eyes to her troubled relationship, to talking to the reporter about Patty and Phil. The reporter asks Ellen what she thinks about the marriage, which is a pretty far-fetched thing for a reporter to ask an underling. So when Ellen delivers her Patty and Phil are the happiest couple on the planet line followed up with Patty has taught me valuable lessons about what it means to be a woman, nay, a human, it really is exactly what the reporter deserves. Remind me not to subscribe to New York Style Magazine and I may as well cancel my subscription to New York Magazine and The New Yorker too, just to be sure.

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Damages

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