London, Of Course

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LuluBates: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Patty's private investigator gives Patty the 411 on Phil's little sweetie. She works for the London branch of Phil's firm and Patty sighs, "London, of course." Whoever picks the titles for these episodes does a nice job of it. I will admit to a certain dorky interest in figuring out where the line came from. The PI hands Patty a stack of Phil's financial records and then gives Patty the lowdown: the pictures are copies and where there are copies there are originals. This most likely means blackmail. Patty doesn't need him to remind her of the implications of that. She also doesn't need him to remind her that whoever did this really wanted to hurt her. As he asks who might want to hurt her, there is a tear in Patty's eye as she smirks and laughs hollowly.

Patty's annoying son and his ancient girlfriend Mary Kay Letourneau are sitting in her gallery drinking (hello endangerment of a minor!) and talking. Mary Kay tells him that his mom stopped by and he is surprised, but more surprised when Mary Kay says that she is working through her abandonment issues. Michael almost looks too eager, like this relationship with the MILF is just attention-seeking behavior after all. He then laughs that his mom doesn't have to worry about losing him to college, because he never applied. Ha ha! Mary Kay gives him a look as if maybe she is realizing she is going to have to hang around this annoying teenage loser forever while he works his way through his trust fund and takes up a drug-and-model habit. Back at the Hewes residence, Phil is laughingly giving Michael relationship advice. Patty devoutedly ignores him. Michael swears that he just loves Mary Kay's live-in-the-moment attitude, which is almost as annoying as her near-pedophilia. Phil tells him they don't want him to get hurt and to remember to be respectful to women. Patty almost chokes on her wine at that, but manages to hold herself together long enough to smile that Michael will be heading off to college soon.

Claire tells Daniel Purcell that she is very excited about taking over UNR and starting over with a clean slate. Purcell congratulates her on the win, but warns her to be prepared for people to come out of the woodwork with their own agendas as soon as she is in charge. She asks him to manage the Aricite clean up and he agrees. William Hurt has been so blah these last few episodes. It's like he was attacked by personality-sucking leeches. I mean I have seen gym socks exuding more verve than he's been showing lately. Drink some coffee already, you're on national television! Wake up! Over at the office, Claire struts down the hallway towards the Board meeting as if she was still in the running to be America's Next Top Model. She walks into a conference room and the smile falls from her face. The room is empty. Except for Walter Kendrick. When she asks where everyone is he starts talking about how he picked the wood for the conference room table. Claire is really not interested. She gets more interested when Kendrick tells her that it is over. An hour ago the Board voted to fire her. Why? Because she had an improper relationship with a UNR contractor. Who? Daniel Purcell. As the now ex-legal counsel, Claire should know that such behavior violates UNR's code of legal ethics. She demands to know whether Purcell told him, which shows almost the right level of suspicious reasoning, but Kendrick doesn't say. Claire looks stunned as Kendrick kicks her out. He tells her he sent a parting gift. At home, it's not an Edible Arrangement of a giant hand flipping her the bird, but a DVD. It's a recording of her and Daniel Purcell getting it on. Yech.

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