Uncle Pete's widow is going through a closet in her house and stumbles on Uncle Pete's secret files. Why keep files? Just to keep your dastardly deeds organized? Do they make Trapper Keepers with file tabs like "murder," "arson," and "blackmail"? That would be handy. At the office, Patty is going through the boxes that Stephania sent over when Ellen stops by. She's in a good mood and plays nice with Patty and gets handed a stack of photos for her trouble. Unfortunately for Patty one of the photos is a picture of Uncle Pete with the guy he hired to kill Ellen. Ellen recognizes him, flashes back to the attempted murder, but manages to not hyperventilate long enough to ask Patty who he is. Patty squints at the picture, but doesn't recognize the guy. Later, Ellen and Wes are in bed in her hotel room and Ellen tells him that Patty is going to bribe a judge and the FBI's investigation will be over. As Wes tries to convince her that Patty going to jail is a good thing, Ellen asks Wes if he still has the number for the guy who doesn't get hung up on gun permits. Wes agrees to give her the number if she promises not to kill anybody.
Patty has her shoes off, her feet up, and a glass of wine. And she deserves it. Michael brings home his elderly girlfriend Jill a.k.a. Mary Kay. He's just home to get changed and then they are heading to dinner. Mary Kay is attempting to make small talk when Dickhead screams from upstairs. He barrels down the stairs and demands to know why Patty cleared all his stuff out of his room. Patty takes off her glasses and smiles that it's fine if he doesn't want to go to college, but he doesn't live there anymore. She sent all his stuff to Jill's. She turns her beatific smile on Mary Kay, who looks like she swallowed a frog. Patty tells Michael that when she's ready to have a man around the house she'll go out and find a real one. Bwah hahahahaha! That was, like, the best scene ever. Everyone got what they deserved and I am extremely hopeful that I never have to write about Dickhead or his creepy aged girlfriend ever again.
Patty is sound asleep when she's awakened by the sound of laughter. She goes downstairs and finds a party of Phil smoking cigars and laughing. He has Uncle Pete, Michael, Ray Fiske, Tom, and Walter Kendrick with him. Walter turns to stare at her and says, "I thought we took care of this bitch!" And then they all start laughing. Patty turns and sees Ellen in her kitchen. Ellen calls her over and Patty demands to know who invited them all to her house. Ellen reminds her that she, Patty, did, and there is no point in kicking them out because someone will always be there. They all hate her and she has to remember to trust no one. Patty wakes up on the couch with a start. She picks up the phone and dials...Ellen. No, Patty! Trust no one! Patty sits on the couch with Ellen and tells her that Michael is gone because he refused to go to college. Ellen doesn't really know what to say to that so instead she asks Patty what is really bothering her. Patty goes through the rundown of men who have disappointed her. The only one who was always loyal was Uncle Pete. She glances at Ellen, and adds her to the loyal list. Ellen corrects her that she's not loyal to her, but to the cause, which is kind of a mean thing to say when someone is feeling as low as Patty. Patty shrugs that is all she can expect. She tells Ellen that she really wishes she didn't have to go through with this whole bribing the judge thing. Ellen craftily makes the case that if Patty doesn't bribe him (and fall into the FBI's trap) then Dave Pell and Walter Kendrick and everyone get off scot-free and no one in West Virginia gets a puppy or clean well water. Well Ellen, when you put it that way. Patty sighs and sends Ellen home to get a good night's sleep. This time tomorrow it will all be done. I really hope Patty has something up her sleeve.