Enough of this! Time to release the judges from their rhinestone egg. MJW explains the scoring rules again and says the hip-hop routines will go first and the order has been chosen "randomly." The tango goes second, and the last two contestants to dance will be the two with the least amount of weight loss for the week. So, Pinky and Mara, I'm guessing. Speaking of Mara, she's the first to hip-hop. She reminds us about her contentious relationship with Paul and that they're okay now, which I'm getting kind of sick of hearing about at this point. She thinks that Paul is helping her learn the tango and she's helping him with hip-hop. Don't get too full of yourself there, Mara. I'm pretty sure that Paul knows hip-hop a whole lot better than you do. And they're dancing to "Get Ur Freak On," which is a good start as far as I'm concerned. But they're wearing matching Ed Hardy-looking clothes for their costume, which is a bad start. For some reason these days, when I see Ed Hardy, I think of a negligent father of eight. It doesn't make me want to buy clothes, that's for sure. Paul and Mara have lots of bouncy moves, and Mara definitely got a bad case of dance face. Lisa dances arhythmically along as usual. I wonder if she has no rhythm or if the editors like to stick shots of her dancing off-beat to make her look that way. Mara ends her routine with an impressive split.
Mara goes to the judges, and Mayte opens with her usual "...girl!" before saying that Mara's dancing was music-video quality, which I'm sure is supposed to be a compliment, even though it's really not so much of one these days. ["Girl, your dancing should no longer be seen on television!" - Zach] She gives Mara a 9. We skip Lisa and head to Danny, who gives Mara an 8. And then back to Lisa with no explanation as to why she gets to speak last this time. She talks forever, saying that Mara has been on an incredible journey blah blah blah not about her dancing so who cares, and Mara gets a 9. Mara's 1st dance average is an impressive 8.7.
Pinky goes next. She continues to lose small amounts of weight despite claiming to be putting all the necessary work in. This time, she says that she hasn't had much energy to push herself in the gym like she needs to, no doubt thanks to crazy nutritionist Meg's 951-calories-a-day diet. Pinky never learns, so she meets with Meg in the rotisserie chicken section of the supermarket. Why there? Does Meg moonlight as a butcher or something? Meg recommends that Pinky stuff her face with all of 1,000 calories a day. The camera man obviously disapproves of this advice, so he shoots Pinky entirely out of focus. But they use the shot anyway, because the people behind the scenes of this show apparently have no standards.