Alicia and Italo and dancing to "Closer." Oof -- someone put drama dance moves in the choreography. Alicia loves them, but they look cheesy as hell. The judges do not look at all impressed. Alicia and Italo end the dance in an embrace to try to steal Shayla and Mario's connection thunder from last week. Mayte claims to like the dance, the concept, and the moves, but says Alicia was "off-beat" sometimes. She gives her an 8. Lisa likes Alicia's "look" this week, but this show isn't called Costume Your Ass Off so who cares? Lisa says some of Alicia's steps were "wasted" but then gives her an 8 anyway. Danny says that Alicia is not a natural hip-hop dancer like some of the other contestants, but she has "personality" so he gives her an 8. Huh? What's up with the uniformly high scores this week? Just because we're later in the season doesn't mean everyone has to get an 8 minimum. Alicia's 1st dance average is an 8.

Ruben is the last hip-hopper to go. He reminds us that last week, he failed in his effort to win a call home to his sick boyfriend, but now he has his eyes on the prize. His partner Hilary interviews that it's amazing to have him as a partner. As a dance partner, sure. But as a life partner? Try getting cancer and see where Ruben is then. Ruben claims that he has to "learn how to dance again" through Hilary, like he didn't already know it. That said, he's used to ballet dancing, so hip-hop is an unwelcome change for him. He says he might have some "white boy movements" but he'll do his best. Wait, "white boy?" Is Ruben white? I honestly have no idea. Anyway, he's dancing to "Right Now (Na Na Na)." His costume includes a backwards golf cap with a pirate skull on it, which is tragic. They've also put an "R" on the back of his vest, like Ruben always gets the monogrammed costumes, doesn't he? What's with that? Anyway, he looks too graceful at some times and too slow and deliberate and uncomfortable at others, so I'm sure he'll get a bunch of 8s or 10s.

Lisa calls the dance a "pleasure to watch" and compliments Ruben and Hilary's synchronicity. She gives Ruben a 9. Mayte knows how it feels to be a classically trained dancer forced to do hip-hop and gives him an 8. Danny, please! Some logic and reason here! Surely you weren't impressed with this dance? He calls it safe and says it didn't wow him, so he'd better bring in the big guns for his tango. Then he gives Ruben an 8 anyway, so whatever. Ruben gets a way-too-high 1st dance average of 8.3.