Dance Your Ass Off

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Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Weight A Minute

Let me just say I found an exciting new way to lose weight that I'm going to share with you all, because I know that's what brings the readers in: diet tips! Anyway, I got my tonsils removed last Thursday, and the pounds are just melting away, thanks to my all-liquid diet and the painkillers that effectively remove any appetite I might have had. Dancing is for suckers! Also, pardon me if I seem cranky or cracked-out this week. I'm either in a lot of pain, or I've taken something for that pain that makes me a little dopey. I shall do my best! MJW's dress is ugly as usual when she greets us, and we flash back to earlier this week at the loft, when Alicia found a note on the kitchen counter. She screams for everyone else, and Mara says that when she heard Alicia scream, she came running. I would too, because Alicia's screaming is usually accompanied by the destruction of the cheat cabinet and that's always fun for a few laughs. I hope Mara brought her camera phone again this time! But it's not a cheat cabinet attack this time -- as Alicia takes forever and day to dramatically explain, the note simply says they have two routines this week: a hip-hop dance and a tango. What, MJW couldn't stop by to give the news? What's she busy doing? Ruben interviews that he's not very familiar with hip-hop, but I don't believe he's at any kind of disadvantage at all, what with him being a former professional dancer and winning almost every week. Except for last week, when it really counted. Whoops! Pinky tries to pretend that she's feeling the pressure this week when, again, she is a hip-hop dancer, so she should be just fine. Mara and Shayla, meanwhile, have already done a tango and hip-hop as one of their routines, so it's really just Alicia who's totally screwed this week. She snarls in an interview that the tango came easy to her. It does not come easy to Shayla or Pinky.

For hip-hop, the contestants get a lesson from some woman who teaches at the product placement gym. She's supposed to be some kind of fitness legend, and her name is Madonna Grimes. Why keep the name Madonna, though? Does she want people to confuse with the much bigger and better legend of the same name? How embarrassing. Anyway, apparently she's the first person ever to realize that dancing and fitness could go hand-in-hand. The contestants talk about how awesome Madonna Grimes is and how they're burning calories and stuff. Seriously, I was kind of hoping that with fewer contestants left in the game we'd get to know more about them as individuals, but apparently it's all about the filler still.

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Dance Your Ass Off

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