Dance Your Ass Off

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Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Lisa calls the dance a "pleasure to watch" and compliments Ruben and Hilary's synchronicity. She gives Ruben a 9. Mayte knows how it feels to be a classically trained dancer forced to do hip-hop and gives him an 8. Danny, please! Some logic and reason here! Surely you weren't impressed with this dance? He calls it safe and says it didn't wow him, so he'd better bring in the big guns for his tango. Then he gives Ruben an 8 anyway, so whatever. Ruben gets a way-too-high 1st dance average of 8.3.

MJW, her giant hair, and her left-arm-on-hip pose say it's time to tango! First up is ... Alicia! Well, we all knew it wasn't going to be Pinky. Alicia is very proud of her #1 spot last week, to the extent that she's kind of ripe for a boot down to the bottom. Pride goeth before the fall, Alicia. She says she's ready to win because she wants it, unlike the rest of the contestants who are apparently here against their will. Alicia and Italo are dancing to "Maneater." But it's not the Hall and Oates version, so who cares? It's also not at all conducive to this style of dance. I think Alicia's footwork is terrible, but I can't tell at this camera angle. She does have good flexibility and keeps her legs and arms nice and straight. "Oooh, I like the way you got up from that!" MJW says nonsensically. The judges make slightly more sense, with Mayte saying that Alicia's moves weren't sharp or precise enough. She gives her a 6. Ah, here come the shitty scores. Those hip-hop 8s and 10s were just gimmes. Tango is where the claws come out. "It was good, it was good!" Mayte says of Alicia's dance as the audience boos. Mayte, either give her a 6 and stand up for yourself in the face of the angry crowd or give, her an 8 and say it was a good job. But you can't do both. Lisa says Alicia didn't have the proper dance posture, but gives her an 8 anyway. Danny continues to like Alicia's attitude during her dances if not her actual dancing ability, and gives her an 8. Her 2nd average is a 7.3 for an overall dance average of 7.7. And now, finally, she gets to step on the scale! She lost 6.4 pounds -- wow! That's 2.8 percent for a final total all things added up score of 10.50.

Next up is Ruben. He says Shayla is his biggest competition because she has the same drive to win that he does. But I thought Alicia had the drive to win and was the biggest competition and stuff? Or was that only in her own mind? Ruben says there are a few "sleepers" in the competition as well, and names everyone else who's left. "Everyone here has a chance of winning," he concludes. Thanks, Ruben. He's dancing to "Buttons (Remix)." Is that a real song or are they making up names now or what? How did I become so unhip? I think it's when I stopped listening to the radio because every time I turned it on it was an ad for some used car lot. Ruben's dance has plenty of head snap moves that the judges will surely like, but it looks like Hilary is the one doing most of the big moves here. Mayte thinks that's a good thing, though, praising Ruben on the way he "led" Hilary and his footwork. She gives him a 10. Lisa makes sure to compliment herself first, saying she thought this would be a good dance for Ruben and she was right. She gives him a 10, too. I love how Hilary is almost happier than Ruben is. Danny loved it all and gives Ruben a 10. Ruben gets the first perfect score of the series, what a shocker. His two-dance average is a 9.2, and he lost 6.4 pounds for a percentage of 2.4 and an overall total of 11.60.

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Dance Your Ass Off

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