Dance Your Ass Off

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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Alicia Can't Win

MJW welcomes us to the show and we flash back to last week just after the show. Miles is gone and the judges have left their rhinestone egg, but everyone else is on the dance floor in their costumes from last week. MJW reminds everyone that he's been away from his family for over a month, and there are sad nods. MJW says that's about to change, because the winner of this week's competition gets a phone call home. Ruben quickly starts thinking of what he'll say to his boyfriend in ICU, because he's obviously going to win this. Shayla starts crying because she knows she's going to come in second, and that's going to hurt. MJW asks Alicia who she'd call if by some miracle she won this week, and Alicia says her mother and father to find out if her brother and sister-in-law had their baby. Why not just call the brother, then? Maybe she doesn't know his number? Mara would call her mother, but doesn't have any pressing issues to discuss. Same with Pinky, who would call her parents. Trice would call her mother, who might be able to shine some light on why Trice's name is spelled "Trice" but occasionally pronounced "Tree-sha-nell." Shayla sobs that she would call her dad, who is the most important person in her life. She wants to make him proud, she says. Because nothing says "you raised a successful adult" like being a reality show contestant. Ruben, of course, would call his boyfriend so he could find out how he's doing with the cancer recovery and all. The contestants share a group hug in a scene that appears to have been shot on someone's camera phone.

Work out time! Ruben says he needs the phone call more than anyone else, which isn't true. Everyone needs it equally. I don't like people who think their needs are more important than those of others. Shayla is ready to de-throne Ruben. Pinky and Trice work hard but have no chance against Shayla and Ruben, as we know. Alicia yells at her trainer for being helpful. Bad Alicia! I don't know what's worse -- her whining or her crying.

Back to the "present," MJW introduces our judges in their rhinestone egg and explains the rules. Then it's time for our first contestant: Trice. Trice wants to win the phone call to talk to her mother, who is very important to her. Trice cries when talking about the sacrifices her mother made for her. Whatevs, let's talk about swing dancing! You need a good core and footwork for this style, so Trice hit the gym extra-hard to build her dancing muscles. Except that she's riding an exercise bike with her interview sweater on. That can't be comfortable. Trice and Jesus are dancing to "Spotlight," which doesn't exactly sound like typical swing dance music so it's hard for me to tell if Trice is even doing it right. I guess it's my own fault that my swing dancing knowledge is limited to Brian Setzer videos. There's one point where Trice gets a little off-balance after a spin, but she regains her footing pretty quickly and as usual, she really sells the dance with her attitude and confidence.

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Dance Your Ass Off

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