Dance Your Ass Off

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
Alicia Can't Win

Back from break, I have to mention that MJW's dress is horrible once again this week. Horrible color, horrible style, horrible fit. I think one of the reasons why she's not very good as a host is that she's so uncomfortable in that thing. Also because I think she's starting to get jealous of some of the contestants as their weights drop and hers kinda... doesn't. Next up is Shayla, who interviews that she felt really uncomfortable in her booty shorts and midriff costume but ended up feeling pretty hot. She's starting to realize that she's a sexy woman. Shayla -- you have giant boobs and a pretty face. There are a lot of people out there who find you sexy. And like everyone else, Shayla really wants that phone call home. Shayla and Mario are dancing the "Lindy Hop/West Coast Swing" to "One Step at a Time." They start off with a great move where Mario flips Shayla by grabbing her hands through her legs and she lands it perfectly. Then he flips her again over his back and she again lands perfectly. And there's a cartwheel that almost releases her left boob from its holder. And, of course, great footwork. And Shayla and Mario kiss at the end! Let's hope it works out better for her than it did for Karla.

Mayte says the work Shayla put in this week showed and everything was clean and precise. And this time she actually means it, unlike some weeks where she'll say good things and then give the contestant a 6. No, she gives Shayla a 10! But then Lisa craps all over it by giving Shayla an 8. Danny says he didn't think the style of dance worked well with the song, but Shayla was excellent and he can see her progression from week to week. He gives her a 9. Shayla's average is a 9 and she once again tells us about how much she loves her father and appreciates him before she gets her weight. Shayla loses her shit when thinking about her father, and MJW doesn't really know how to deal with that so she just gets to the weight loss. Shayla lost 3.4 pounds for a percentage of 1.82. That gives her a 10.82, which means she will not be calling her father.

Ruben goes next, like anyone thought he'd be stuck in the bottom two. No way. He'll lose 15 pounds and get a judge's average score of 11 and win the call home. Ruben says his previous first place finishes, of which there are three, mean nothing compared to this week, when first place will get him a call home so he can find out how his boyfriend is doing. Wow, John the boyfriend looks seriously weak in the home submission video. Ruben is hoping to lose as much weight this week as he lost last week and get first place. He and Hilary are dancing to "SOS," which is yet another song that I didn't think lent itself well to swing dancing. And what can I say? Ruben is a professional dancer and he does this very well. He makes it look effortless, but I'm not sure the moves were hard enough to get him the big scores he'll need.

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Dance Your Ass Off




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