Next up is Ruben, who began the contest at 314.3 lbs. He spent the week exercising and learning how to cook, just like Alicia and probably every other contestant except Brandon. He then meets his dance partner, Hilary, who is very pleased with his ability. Which she should be, since he was a professional dancer. Ruben says that doing the steps and the moves was hard in such an out-of-shape and heavy body. Ruben and Hilary will also be dancing to shitty '90s club music with Cher's "Believe." Also, Ruben's dance outfit is horrible. I thought they said the costume designers were there to make these people feel good about themselves. Ruben has been out of the professional dancing world for a while, it looks like. Or maybe he wasn't a very good professional dancer to start with. Mayte criticizes Ruben for anticipating his moves but then says she loves his costume, so I can't trust anything she says. She gives him a 6. Lisa accuses Mayte of being tougher on Ruben because of his dancing background before giving Ruben a 7, the same score she gave Alicia, which means she just did the same exact thing that Mayte did. Danny also thought Ruben was too in his head and not in the dancing moment, and since he's an evil English judge, the audience boos and Lisa gets all defensive on Ruben's behalf. Then Danny gives Ruben a 5. Ouch! His average score is 6. But then he loses 13.9 pounds, which is 4.42% of his body weight. His combined score is 10.42.
Shayla is the next up. She meets her partner, Mario, and dances for him. She looks pretty good to me, and Mario is also pleased. During rehearsal, she realizes that her weight is keeping her from doing some of the moves she used to be able to do. But Trice says that you can be a size 18 and still dance just as well as a size 2, so Shayla must be wrong. Shayla warns us that she might get X-rated before saying most of her weight is carried in "the girls." Shayla, the show has the word "ass" in the title. Don't worry. She weighs 206.5 pounds, although she really does wear it well because she doesn't look especially huge in her underwear. Except for her boobs, of course, which are freaking massive. Shayla says that having giant boobs isn't so great, because they're large with fat and they hurt. Preach it, sister. Shayla and Mario are dancing to "Pround Mary" (the Tina Turner version, not the CCR version), so already I know this will be awesome. She does a decent job, but it's hard to tell when the choreography is so bad. Don't recycle Tina's moves, Mario. But the audience loves it, and give her a standing ovation. Mayte points out that Shayla did the entire dance in heels, which is pretty awesome of her. She gives Shayla a 7, and one guy in the audience claps enthusiastically, probably because of Shayla's boobs. Lisa gives Shayla another 7 because that's the only number she knows, apparently. Danny has praise for Shayla, although he must also say she has room for improvement because he's English. He gives her a 7, too. Shayla gets on the scale and loses 4.9 pounds, which she's thrilled about even though it's only 2.37% of her body weight. Her total score is 9.37. Go Shayla!