Dance Your Ass Off

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Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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Ass Your Dance Off

After the break, MJW says there's a special bonus for the nine eliminated contestants: a $5,000 prize for the person with the greatest percentage of weight loss. Miles is very happy about this, as well he should be. He looks great and is a shoo-in to win. MJW will read off everyone's name and his or her stats. The last person she calls is the winner. You do not want to be the second-to-last person she calls up. Warren, of course, is first because there's no possible way he won this. He lost 29.1 pounds or 8.14% He says after losing just that amount of weight he's noticed that he has more energy and feels better, so he hopes to continue. Angela lost 22.3 pounds, which is 12%. Mara also lost 12% with 31.5 pounds. "That's what's up," she says. No, Mara - that's what's down! Tara lost 31.1 pounds for a percentage of 13.1. Brandon lost 21.5 pounds. That's just 9.33%. He says that's more than he expected. Sigh. Trice lost 39.4 pounds, which is 14.33%. Karla lost 23.8 pounds or 13.61%. She must have gained a lot of muscle, because she looks pretty damn slim now. Alicia and Miles are the two remaining contestants. They're both nervous. And sucks for them - MJW won't tell them who won until the show. Quick, Alicia! Throw the Cheat Cabinet at MJW! Back on stage, Miles says that he changed a lot of things when he went home from Dance Your Ass Off, like his job and some of his friends. Huh? Losing weight is cause to dump friends? How? Unless those friends are Mr. Frank N. Furter and Miss French Fries. [That's Dr. Frank N. Furter. - Z] Alicia says she's transformed mentally as well as physically. And she's crying the entire time. But she's looking forward to loving the rest of her life, so that's cool. So who won? Well, Alicia lost 48.2 pounds or 18.71%. Pretty impressive! And Miles lost 45.3 pounds, or 17.3%. Which means Alicia wins! No way! I guess venting your lifelong rage at the Cheat Cabinet is an honestly good way to drop the pounds. Anyway, I'm happy Alicia won, because it turns out that when she isn't crying and screaming and making weird dance faces on this show, she's pretty cool. Congrats!

Ruben will be up first for the second dance. He reminds us that he was fat when he first came on this show. He really was, though -- 314 pounds! And let's not forget that his boyfriend has cancer. He's dancing to "When I Grow Up." The song does not match the dance style at all, but that's not Ruben's fault. He has the angry man-sneer you're supposed to have for the Paso Doble and it looks pretty great to me. Mayte was really impressed with Ruben's "mind-blowing" performance and gives him a 10. I love how happy Hilary is, by the way. Lisa also gives Ruben a 10. Danny is beyond impressed with Ruben's dance, saying he'd give him an 11 for it if he could. But he can't, so he must settle for a 10. That's a perfect score for Ruben and an overall dance average of 9.5.

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Dance Your Ass Off

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