Dance Your Ass Off

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A | Grade It Now!
Asses: Danced Off

MJW suddenly asks if anyone has "new news." Pinky is now dancing with her brothers just like she always wanted. Warren's wife is pregnant with a son, thanks, apparently, to some dance moves he learned that translated to good sex with his wife. So he does the thing where he waves his hands around in bed? Because that's the only dance move I've seen him do with any skill. Tara says her love life is "very busy." Thanks for the TMI, Warren and Tara. Karla is still single. "Shocking!" Ruben says sarcastically. Um, that's really rude, Ruben. Also I just realized that thanks to this show, he has left his boyfriend alone in a hospital not once, but twice.

We get a montage of the judges' best moments. Seriously, though -- I don't care about the judges. Why are they a part of this reunion show? Because Lisa is the Executive Producer and wants to be on TV, probably. MJW introduces the judges, and Lisa's lips are looking as real as ever. Mayte says everyone looks "amazing" but that's what she always says, so whatever. Lisa says the hardest part of the competition was seeing someone go home. Then don't create a show that sends people home, Lisa! And, of course, she's all emotional and proud of how everyone has done. Although if I created and executive-produced a TV show that changed people's lives like this has, I'd probably be the same way. Danny tells us what his three favorite routines were: Mara's first week (which he only gave an 8 to -- should have been a 10!), Shayla's salsa, and Ruben's Paso Doble.

Back from break, we have yet another judge montage, this time of them being harsh. MJW starts talking about something I don't care about and is awesomely interrupted by Mara, who says that while she appreciated the "constructive criticism" she received from the judges, she has to speak honestly about when she was voted off. She's cool with Mayte, who gave her a 10, but not with Lisa and Danny, who gave her 8s. She thinks she should have gotten all 10s and she and Paul were "totally robbed." MJW and the judges look all awkward. Well, except for Mayte. Danny says that someone has to go home and they can only score how they see it in the moment. Mayte tries to speak up, but Lisa interrupts her to get all indignant and say they judged true to the dance style of the week. Ruben says that some of the things the judges said really needed to be said, which is easy for him to say since he won. But I guess he got some crap in the first week when they said he looked "feminine" on stage, which he now believes is accurate. Also, what's done is done and venting about it on the reunion show only makes you look bad, Mara. MJW says that in the end, they're all winners except not in the sense that they lost 90 pounds or won $100,000.

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Dance Your Ass Off




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