Dance Your Ass Off

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Angel Cohn: C | Grade It Now!
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Make Me Over

Sara M is off on vacation, mostly because she couldn't handle seeing what MJW squeezed herself into this week. Well, it's far from the worst thing she's worn. It's a black dress, which could have been slender and curvy, but the ever-present corset has been cinched even tighter for the semifinals, and her hair is bigger than ever.

The contestants are getting a makeover and a photo shoot for Life & Style magazine. What, People didn't want to do a feature on these contestants from a summer show that I am convinced is only watched by myself and Sara M because we're paid to? Anyway, the final four get glammed up. Alicia is the first post-makeover person we see, and she looks great. The before and after pictures are impressive. Ruben nearly has a heart attack when they give him a Hugo Boss suit to wear. He looks pretty amazing in it, so rightfully so. Shayla looks adorable in a little pink dress, and Pinky is wearing a size eight! Without a rib-crushing corset. Amazing! Then the reporters ask some lame questions about dancing backgrounds, and the fancified folks get their moment in front of the camera. They all look like they are having a blast.

The next surprise for the final four was a visit from Nick Kosovich, a ballroom champion, for help with their Cha Chas and Viennese Waltzes. They all gush about how much they learned from him and whatever.

Back to MJW, who introduces the judges in their rhinestone egg. The dancers are performing randomly tonight. First up is Shayla with the Cha Cha. Because this is the semifinals, we have to watch a retrospective of their time on the show. It's a lot of clips that we've already seen and Sara's already recapped, so you can just fill in the blanks. She's lost a bunch of weight and she's not going to be fat again, is the basic gist of it.

She's cha-cha'ing to Britney Spears' "Gimme More" while wearing a tiger-print dress. It looks pretty smooth and has a few split tricks in it, but it looks like a cha cha should, more or less. Mayte thinks she needs to let go a little more. She gives her a 9. Lisa Ann throws out a bunch of technical terms for the dance and says that she executed it well, and she loved it. A 10! Shayla looks like she's about to hyperventilate. Danny says that she's free from her ball and chain (weight, not a significant other or anything) and that she's able to move like she always wanted to. Another 10! Her average is a 9.7.

Next on the floor is Alicia, but first we see her heart-to-heart with Dr. H, because she's confused about her body image, and doesn't know what to do when she's not as big. She says this is the person she's always wanted to be, but she's only halfway to her goal weight.

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Dance Your Ass Off

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