Dance Your Ass Off

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Sara M: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Cry Your Ass Off

Good news this week! Maybe it's the post-tonsillectomy liquid Vicodin talking, but I think I like MJW's dress! I mean, it's not perfect. That one brown sleeve that hangs down lower that the other grey sleeve and is weirdly poofy isn't right and it's still waaaaay too tight so that even though she does manage to squeeze her body into it (no doubt with the help all kinds of slimming devices), you know she can't be at all comfortable or possibly even move. But still -- progress! We immediately free the judges from their rhinestone egg and introduce them, and is it just me or does MJW pronounce Danny's last name different every week? As usual, MJW is her smirky self when telling us the sad news that someone will be eliminated this week, because I've decided that she hates these contestants for being better at dancing and losing weight than she is. Well, except for Pinky, but that's only in the losing weight department.

We have two dances tonight, and the first one is '80s, which I was not aware was a dance style but am looking forward to. Pinky is up first. We check out her rehearsal footage, and despite her lower weight loss than the other contestants, you can really see in her profile that she's slimmed down. Mr. Lucky tries to talk to Pinky, but is interrupted by the arrival of two goofy boys. It's her hip-hop dancer brothers! Group hug time! Pinky says she's tight with her parents and her brothers, despite the fact that one of them has a really creepy smile in the home submission photo. Tears flow, and Pinky reminds us that her weight kept her from being allowed to join her brothers' dance troupe. She says they made her who she is and if it weren't for them she "wouldn't be here today." Does she mean on the planet? Or on this show? Either way, give yourself some credit, Pinky. I like my brother and think he's a pretty inspirational and admirable guy too, but I wouldn't say I owe him everything. Nor would I tell him any of the good stuff I just said. Anyway, she works on some moves with her brothers that don't appear to be related to either of her dances tonight.

Pinky and Mr. Lucky are dancing to "Holiday," and Pinky is in full early Madonna garb. Early on, she appears to be a bit out of sync, but I think her footwork is good. It's hard to tell because as usual, they always cut away from the feet on this show. WHY??? It's a DANCING SHOW. SHOW THEIR ENTIRE BODIES!!! And stop cutting away to Lisa and her real lips bobbing out of time with the music! Pinky's brothers are in the audience to cheer her on, and then it's time for the judges. Mayte loved it, and gives Pinky a 9. I think Mayte likes 9s because she can't give out 6s anymore because they're too low and 9s are the next best thing, because they are 6s upside-down. Lisa has also noticed Pinky's weight loss, and while she has nothing to say about her dancing, gives her a 9. Danny says he was glad to see an '80s routine that was fun and energetic without being cheesy and cliché. He also gives her a 9. That gives Pinky an average of a 9.

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Dance Your Ass Off

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