Dancing With The Stars

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Performance 4: Results

Last night, there was passion! And drama! And unicycles! And tonight, for the first time, the bottom two will be revealed.

Sheryl Crow is in the house to perform "All I Wanna Do" (which Tom calls "All Ya Wanna Do") while Tony and Edyta and Fabian and Kym dance. I feel like the professional dance is...not the best. It seems ragged, and Edyta in particular looks like she doesn't know what she's doing.

As we recap last night's performances, we learn that Fabian plans to work the bum, that Jason is thrilled with his high scores, and Julianne yells "Screw the judges!" which Adam thinks she might consider to get them higher scores.

So who gets the encore performance? Seriously, you will never guess. Try. No, you're wrong. It's Adam and Julianne. No, I'm not kidding. Ooh, they do a lift in their encore, but I guess it doesn't count against them now. Julianne looks like she's grimly determined to get through the routine -- she doesn't seem like she's having as much fun as usual. I wonder if they were chosen because they're leaving tonight? We'll find out soon enough.

Backstage, Samantha asks Marissa how she felt about her scores. Marissa was thrilled that she met the judges' challenge. Tony thinks Marissa is a daredevil, and he wants to continue to challenge her. Samantha then asks Derek and Shannon about their chemistry. Showmance! Shannon jokes that if they got the encore, they would have actually kissed at the end. Samantha quickly points out that even though Derek and Shannon haven't danced tonight, he is covered in her glitter. Scandal!

Let's find out about some safe couples, shall we? The first safe couple is...Jason and Edyta. Also moving on will be...Kristi and Mark. Surprise! Although they have to get them out of the way first or there's no suspense.

Now it's time for little kids! The first couple are nine and eight years old. I think I was still wearing diapers at that age. Anyway, they are adorable and they are doing the samba. It's a little freaky seeing little kids dance like professionals, but they are not perfect enough that they don't look like little robots. The judges are predictably nice to them, because like they're going to be mean.

The second couple are both eight years old. The little boy has a giant head. So do I, so I can relate. They're doing the paso doble, and it's a little weirder to see a little boy pretending to be all macho, especially when he doesn't have any chest muscles to puff out. The judges are nice to them too. Backstage, Samantha chats the kids up and...wait, they're really going to pick one of the kid couples over the other? This is so wrong! I'm boycotting the kiddy competition. Why can't they just perform for the joy of dancing? Bleh.

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Dancing With The Stars

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