Dancing With The Stars

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YamaHOOCHIE!

Len asks to see Jason and Edyta's quickstep again. I'm glad, because it was definitely the better routine, and I was worried that corniness of the NFL paso doble would win them over. One thing I admire about this routine is that Jason totally does the dancer facial expressions, which he doesn't normally do, because he's too busy looking at his feet. This time, instead of throwing the judges' papers around, Jason kisses Carrie Ann on the cheek, and he kind of biffs the handstand at the end, but it doesn't really matter, does it?

Len decides to make an announcement about lifts. He tells everyone that he's noticed that there have been a lot of lifts and near-lifts this season, and the judges have decided to stop fighting it. Starting next week, the dancers will be allowed to do one lift per dance, as long as it's in character with the dance. I get where he's going; if they didn't put restrictions on it, Edyta would have Jason twirling her around like a helicopter blade during the Viennese waltz, but Len came off as quite schoolmarm-ish there. In fact, Jason lifts Edyta up in celebration of their ability to do lifts.

It's time to find out who's safe. The first safe couple is...Kristi and Mark.

Kenny Mayne and Jerry Rice return for DanceCenter! Yay! Kenny is, as usual, wearing glittery eyeshadow, and Jerry Rice is too! First, they're going to look at Mario. The best part about these segments are the little fact they put on the screen for each contestant that they don't mention, so you might miss them. For example, for Mario, it says "Younger than Len's underpants" and "Brother called Luigi." Brother called Luigi! Funny. I mean, for this show. I set the bar pretty low. They think Mario has the advantage of youth and athleticism, but lacks finesse. They show a clip of Mario singing to Carrie Ann, and Kenny comments: "First name, Mario. Last name, McCheese."

Next up for scrutiny is Shannon Elizabeth. Len says that Shannon has great legs and a great figure, even if she does take the judging a little hard. Kenny points out that Derek has been in the hospital twice this season, and shows a clip of Shannon totally hitting Derek in the nuts. That is no way to flirt! Kenny says that Derek was hit in the "man area," which cracked me up. They note that Shannon's always slumping over at the end of her routines, and Kenny telestrates "LAZY!!" on the screen. Len suggests that she should hug him instead of Tom Bergeron, and avoid Bruno, because he wears too much makeup.

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Dancing With The Stars

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