Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 825 USERS: C+
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Reality Bites

They have this weird new skybox this season where the other pairs hang out and watch their competitors. I appreciate not locking them in that weird room backstage and all, but that's going to take some getting used to. Anyway, Len loves how he attacked the dance, but says that he needs a bit more polish, especially with his posture. Bruno thinks Chad has great talent, but he needs to be a bit sharper and have more conviction. Carrie Ann thinks he has "raw something" (cookie dough? I like raw cookie dough) and she wants to see more. They head over to the new skybox (Tom calls it "the celebriquarium") to talk to Brooke and get his scores. Did Brooke get a nose job? Her face looks totally different to me, and I spent a lot of time looking at her during her season as a contestant. Anyway, scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6. Wow, I think that's way underscored. I get that they can't start off too high, but I thought it was better than that.

You guys, I kind of forgot Brenda (aka Shannen Doherty) was on the show. I'm sure she's mellowed with age, but I really want her to have bitchface the whole time. She could show Kate Gosselin a thing or two about being the biggest bitch around, no? Ooh, imagine those two in a catfight. Shannen would rip Kate's extensions right out, and people would cheer! Anyway, Shannen explains in her clip package that her dad had a stroke, and he asked her to do the show, so that's why she's here with her partner Mark. And if you've read my weecaps before, you know that I can't stand him, so this should be interesting. Shannen explains that she gets so nervous about live performance that she breaks out in hives. Oh, dear. They are doing the Viennese waltz. Shannen is quite graceful. Some might say surprisingly so. She forgets a step early on and breaks character to smile at herself, but recovers nicely. Her posture is great, and that's something that a lot of stars don't get at first. The choreography is boring to me, and seems repetitive, but that could be the dance. It's good enough to get her through to the next round, I think, and I can't wait to see what she'll do next. One caveat about their costumes: Mark is wearing a black suit and black gloves; any time I see a dude wearing black gloves, I think he must be a serial killer. Which would explain so much about Mark, wouldn't it?

Dancing With The Stars

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