Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A- | Grade It Now!
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Swing a Ding Ding

I really don't get why the ratings for the show are up so far THIS season. I guess people want to laugh at/support Kate, and see Pam Anderson's boobs? I just don't think the star power is any bigger this season than it's been any other season. And the ratings keep staying up there! Shocking. Anyway, last week, Kate finally dragged her sorry ass home, Tony threw a party, and I cheered. Tonight, the stars will be doing either the Argentine tango or the samba, and then they'll be doing a swing dance marathon all together. And it will all happen LIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! Hey, Tom didn't say it! I feel all unsettled when that happens.

Brooke's not wearing a bandage dress. She looks old tonight. Maybe it's the lighting. Erin is wearing a dress that makes her look almost completely nude except for some strategically placed flowers. Pam Anderson is wearing a brunette wig and she's almost unrecognizable, but still hot. She weirdly looks like a young Anne Archer, like circa Fatal Attraction. I just realized Erin's dress, other than the revealing top section, has a bizarre Muppet-like bottom half. Someone wore a dress like that to the Oscars this year. Let me look it up: ah, it was Zoe Saldana. Actually, Erin's is even worse than Zoe's. Here's hoping that monstrosity is a tear-away section.

Jake and Chelsie are the first to dance tonight. God, if I have to see that clip of Jake in his underwear one more time, I'm going to gouge my eyes out. Gross. Chelsie took Jake to meet some samba dancers, and Jake actually had fun and didn't act like a jerk. In rehearsals, Jake acknowledged that Nicole and Evan were at the top of the pack, and while he was in third last week, it was a distant third. I actually almost feel bad for Jake; that must be frustrating to do your best and know that two people with way more natural ability and experience than you are always going to beat you. Anyway, their samba is not terrible. It's kind of slow, and Jake's arms and hands need work. He's got flat hands. He has a few stumbles near the end, but recovers well. He does perform the hell out of it, but he was more in his head this week than other weeks. It was okay, but it wasn't third place material.

Len thinks Jake is more confident and polished, but he lacked rhythm. Bruno thought it didn't have enough bounce, and his hip action was missing. Carrie Ann thinks Jake pushes himself to the max, but he needs to connect to the music more. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7 for a total of 21.

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Dancing With The Stars

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