It's Brooke! In a bandage dress! That, for me, will be the lasting impression I have of this season. Not Kate's horrible dancing or Niecy's flower in her hair or Maks shirtless. It will be Brooke Burke in a bandage dress. Because that is ALL SHE WEARS! It's ridiculous. She also has a really small face. Like all of her features are in the middle of her face and then she has extra face space above and below. Once you see it, you can't unsee it. Oh, and tonight we will get to see the second round of the college dance championship. It's what the people have been clamoring for! I know last night, I was like, "Screw all this dancing with the stars, and the reason I watch the show! I'd like to see some college groups do mediocre dance routines. That would be rad."
Before we get to see any of that mess, it's time to reveal the first finalist. And it is... Evan and Anna! I'm surprised that they didn't reveal Nicole and Derek first. Let's go to Len's review of what we saw last night. In the ballroom round, Erin was nervous, Nicole was flawless, Chad did well for the only amateur, and Evan finally showed some joy (even if he didn't point his toes on his kicks, which I just noticed). In the Latin round, Erin was intense, Nicole showed why she's a shoo-in for the finals, Chad was good but not great, and Evan showed passion and intensity.
Len gets to pick his encore dance, and he has chosen Evan and Anna's paso doble. It's actually better tonight, because Evan is a little more controlled and not as wild, while just as intense. When he rips Anna's cape off to do his solo, I think Anna really fell pretty hard, and after the "bite" at the end, it looks like he bounces her head off the floor. Ouch!
Since we saw the stars' backgrounds last night, tonight we get to find out about the pros. Maks was born in the Ukraine when it was still part of the USSR. His family moved to Brooklyn for a better life for the kids, and Maks got into ballroom dance. His family is very supportive. The end. Wow, I just learned nothing new about Maks. What, he's Russian? And he's a ballroom dancer? Thanks for the news flash.
The first musical performance tonight is Sarah McLachlan, doing a medley of her hits. I have a hard time hearing "Angel" now because I just think of the sad puppies that no one has adopted. Looking at you! From their cages! Ugh. I hope Miley Cyrus feels bad that she has to perform after someone who can actually sing. Dancing to her song are married couple Jonathan and Anna, and as always, they dance beautifully together. It seems like they do one ballroom dance together per season, and it's always gorgeous. When Sarah switches songs, Damien, Lacey, Dmitry, and Kym come out and dance, and I lose interest.