Dancing With The Stars
Season 11 Performance 1

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
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The "Stars" Go Dancing

Hey, you know who finally made it on the show after trying to be on forever? Florence Henderson! And she's paired with my least favorite pro of all time, Corky Ballas. Corky immediately asks her how she feels about being cheeky on the dance floor. Gross. Not because I mind old people being sexy, but because I like when they just dance and I hate Corky's idea of "humor." And I also hate the "oooh, snap that old lady said something dirty" idea of humor.

Ugh. This whole thing is gross. She's very stiff, and the routine is super slow. And it's obviously supposed to be funny, based on the mugging, but I don't get what's funny about it. I wish Corky would just let her dance. Bruno tells her that she's still got it, but she looked insecure about her technique. Carrie Ann says that Florence was obviously enjoying herself, but also feels that she needs to work on technique. Len thought it was entertaining, and he praises Corky. Don't encourage him, Len. I hope she's done. I don't know if I can watch another week of that mess. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6. I thought it was worse than that, obviously.

You may not recognize Michael Bolton without the hair, but he cut the hair a long time ago. He kind of acts like the hair never happened. He's partnered with Chelsie. During rehearsals, she realizes that his posture is horrible, so she makes him wear that apparatus. Their Viennese waltz starts and for a singer, Michael has terrible rhythm, and you can see him counting in his head. He's like a half beat ahead the whole time, probably due to nerves, and Chelsie choreographed a routine with a lot of footwork, which may not have been a great idea. And for a performer, he's not doing a great job performing. He's kind of just running around and throwing his arms out from time to time.

Judges? Carrie Ann thinks that Michael let Chelsie lead too much, and he didn't serve as the frame enough. And also, he needs to smile more. Len thought he moved around the floor well, but he needs to work on his posture. Bruno thinks that Michael needs to relax and smile, and everything will fall into place. He needs to enjoy it. Also, Michael Bolton is short. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 5, and Bruno 5 for a total of 16. That's fair; not only was it not great, but it was boring.

The Situation wasn't able to start training until five days ago, while everyone else got to train for three weeks. Will it show? I'm going to guess that it will. During rehearsals, The Situation is very aware of the cameras. He keeps looking at the camera and mugging. This could be bad. Karina says that he's genuine and wants to do a good job. That's a bad sign, if she's not talking about how fast he learns the steps.

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Dancing With The Stars

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