Dancing With The Stars
Season 11 Performance 2: Results

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
How Am I Supposed to Lift Without You?

Last night, people thought Bruno was really mean because he was honest about how terrible Michael Bolton's routine was. I've noticed that the judges are nicer this season, especially to the female contestants. I wonder if they did polling showing that people don't like it when the judges are mean. What they need to do is have a "Simon," who can be brutally honest, and then the other judges can be nice. Len fills that role sometimes, but not always. Anyway, Michael Bolton was six points lower than his closest competitor, so will he go home? Let's hope so. And as many people have pointed out, Bolton has a concert scheduled for Monday, so if he does stay, thousands (hundreds?) of residents of Nebraska are going to be pissed off. That seems like a bad oversight.

Let's review what we all saw last night. Kyle had poor technique. Brandy and Maks butted heads and had poor communication. So where do those two stand? Kyle and Lacey are safe. Brandy and Maks are in jeopardy. I think Brooke just said that we would find out their "faith" later. Well, I'm going to guess Christian, or possibly agnostic?

Tom gives Bruno another chance to be nice to Michael. Bruno basically tells Tom to fuck off and says that Michael is a great singer and a great person, but it's Bruno's job to tell him when he's not doing well. Len claims that he might say negative things but he always gives some positives too. Bruno yells that Len is lying and they go back and forth for a while. MANUFACTURED DRAMA! No one cares. Do they really think people will be buzzing at the watercooler tomorrow about the nature of judging on this show? "Hey, is that decaf? No? Did you see Dancing With the Stars last night? I agree with Len that the judges are there to enlighten." At least not in any office where I've worked. It's more like, "Did you see Bristol's dress? And what was up with those gloves? And could Corky Ballas be any creepier? Oh, I've got to take this. What are you doing for lunch?" Now that I work from home, I could seriously make up imaginary office coffee break conversations all day. I miss the little things about seeing other adults during daylight hours.

Kyle and Lacey get the encore for reasons totally unknown to anyone. Really. Unless they are going home tonight. Oh, no. They're already safe. I seriously have no clue why they got the encore. This is an episode of nonsense already.

Janelle Monae performs. I've heard the name but never seen her. I dig her retro style. She kind of looks like Otis Day from Otis Day and the Knights. I like the '60s skinny tie style of her music, but her voice isn't doing it for me. They keep cutting away from her when she's dancing, and I'm pissed because she's totally getting into the James Brown of it all. And I love a horn section. Heh. They actually had a dude come out with a cape a la JB. I remember seeing footage of James Brown doing that when I was a kid and I was like, "Why do they keep covering that guy up? And then he comes back and sings more? Why do they want him to leave? They should let him sing some more." It is a little confusing, right? Anyway, I enjoyed this performance.

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Dancing With The Stars




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