Dancing With The Stars

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Sarah Smiles

Tom and Brooke welcome us to the second week of the giant mess known as Dancing with the Stars. I've seen Brooke's dress somewhere before. Some movie or television show. It has these pointy flaps over her boobs that are really unflattering. I also can't stop watching Brooke while Tom talks. She has the most vacant look on her face. I've really turned on her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt last season, but I expect her to have learned a few things over the off-season and be, just, better by now. I mean, it must be tough to work next to Tom, who is awesome, but still.

Heh. Teen activist. That's rich. They just showed the full-length view of Bristol's dress and...oof. I'm all for modesty. But that doesn't mean you have to wear an upside-down purple tulip.

Rick and Cheryl are up first, and they have the jive this week. Cheryl works with Rick on his kicks and flicks, and he's worried about the speed that the dance requires. Rick talks about how his career ended due to a tendon snapping in his foot, and it's making it tough to do some of the dance moves as well. But he wants to push through, because Larry Bird told him that pros play hurt. Hey, how has Larry Bird not been a contestant on this show? Can you imagine how horrible he would be? Is there anyone whiter than Larry Bird?

Their jive is a little slow, but it's not bad. There are no huge blunders that I can see. Rick's facial expressions need some work as they don't seem that natural; he needs to actually be joyful instead of looking like a parody of joy. And he's a little pigeon-toed, but overall, it's decent. Judges? Len says that it's tough for tall guys to jive, and Rick did well anyway. Bruno recognizes the challenges they face: the jive is hard, their size differential. And yet, he thought they did well. Carrie Ann thought it was good, but they were better last week, especially Rick's posture. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 7 for a total of 21.

Florence and Corky are up next. Florence is thrilled to finally be on the show. I'm a little put off by how desperate she was to get on the show. In rehearsals, she explains how she wants to be a real contender, and not the joke old person. But this week, she has the quickstep, which requires a lot of endurance, and she's struggling. She even flips off the camera at one point. She's serious! They're dancing to "Suddenly I See" and I swear someone else danced to this song in a past season. I guess after this many seasons, there are going to be repeats.

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Dancing With The Stars

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