Dancing With The Stars

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You Can't Always Get What You Want

Tom and Brooke welcome us. Do you think Brooke will get fired after this season? She's no better than Samantha was. The giant "time machine" on the stage kind of gives away who will be doing the encore, and sure enough, Len explains that while it wasn't the best dance, it was compelling, so we're going to see Karina and the Situation do their foxtrot again. I think their routine is better tonight; the encores usually are, because the performers aren't as nervous. The Situation is still doing more walking around than dancing, but it is definitely compelling. Even if it's only in the sense that he might fall down or something. He takes steps that are way too big, like Karina must have told him to cover the floor.

Let's review the top couples from last night. Maks and Brandy got scolded because Maks was kind of a bully in rehearsals, but even Brandy admits that it worked. Derek shows Jennifer how their screw-up was all her fault (but it seems like she asks what happened, and he's not being a dick), and she's happy that she learned what it's like to screw up and then have to continue the dance. Cheryl and Rick showed off some more skin than usual and hope that it worked out.

The first elimination announcements are ready: Audrina and Tony are safe, as are Kurt and Anna. But Lacey and Kyle are in jeopardy. Lacey makes a mocking scared face, and I'm so sick of her. I get that it's a goofy show and she might not take it seriously, but she should look upset that she might be going home. Don't mock the show, dude. Leave that to the professionals.

We're supposed to be awed that Michael Bolton is going to perform tonight, replacing the ailing Susan Boyle, and he only had an hour of rehearsal. I would hope that at this point in his career, Bolton could get up on stage cold and sing a song that he's sung a million times before. And then! Mark and Maks's brother Val are going to have a dance/string off. Mark plays guitar and Val plays violin. And they're going to play? And duel? Through the majesty of dance? This will be awesome.

There is this dude who was in the audience last night and he's there tonight. He's got hair that looks like Warhol if his hair was black and hipster glasses. I think he's sitting with Margaret Cho's parents. Does anyone know who this dude is? It's driving me nuts. Is it her husband?

Ne-Yo is here to sing. I'm not really familiar with his oevre, but he reminds me of Usher. And it seems like his skit while singing is about approaching hookers by streetlights. That's an interesting approach. And then he goes backstage and opens the stage door and somehow the girl is back there? It's magic! Like that black and white thing last night. The song was pretty generic, though. And I like it better when the pros dance.

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Dancing With The Stars

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