Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
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Storytime

Carrie Ann thought it was charming, and she loved their chemistry. Len thought it lacked some musicality in the arms, but everything else was great. Bruno compares him to Gene Kelly but then calls him out on his frying pan hands. Everyone boos, but Bruno is right, and he says that he's only being critical because he knows that Kurt can be better. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 7 for a total of 23. Brooke claims that it's the highest score yet, which it's totally not, so good one Brooke.

Margaret and Louis: They have the samba, which Louis explains is "the party dance," and they are dancing to "Copacabana." Margaret explains that their story is about "coming out," but of course she never mentions being gay, even though she's wearing a rainbow dress. Okay, so there's no story. You have one of the greatest "story" songs of all time (second only to "Coward of the County," in my opinion, which is a jaunty ditty about rape) and you don't act it out at all? The dancing is good; Margaret is way into it and shaking what she's got. But then about halfway through, she loses the plot and her footwork is off. She tries to get back on track, and kind of does, but you can tell that she's thinking through the steps now instead of performing. It was fun, but rough. And there really was no story.

Len thought it started off well, but as it went along, she lost her timing, and he didn't get the story. Margaret says it's about being proud under criticism. I wonder if ABC made them tone it down. Bruno loves the rainbow flag but thought the dancing was lacking. Carrie Ann loved the rainbow pride, but she got out of control. Margaret calls it "the gayest thing that's ever happened," and Carrie Ann says that the show has gone gay. Five producers just had heart attacks. In her backstage interview, Margaret references the recent, horrible spate of gay teen suicides, which is necessary but also kind of a downer. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6, for a total of 18.

Audrina and Tony: Audrina had the best quickstep of the night last week, but this week, they have the waltz. Their storyline features a Marine coming back from the dead to dance with her one last time? I guess? I mean, that seems like kind of a downer. I guess the "coming back from the dead" thing can be seen as romantic, but I don't get why they have to include the military angle. That just makes it feel tacky to me. So their dance starts and Audrina is sitting at a table, wearing a nightgown, hugging a military hat. And then Tony comes out of the fog wearing a Marine uniform, and they dance. So at least they got the dream part across. The problem is that Audrina isn't that good of an actress, and she looks sort of blank and generically sad the whole time. And there's no passion. Her dancing is really beautiful, so she's got that going for her, but I thought maybe there would be, I don't know, some chemistry between them.

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Dancing With The Stars

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