Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
In The Round

Oh, dear. The Situation is next. He has really made it about two weeks past his expiration date, hasn't he? To the surprise of no one, The Situation has trouble with the technical aspects, and in the rehearsal footage, his dancing looks atrocious. Karina recognizes this, and decides to go for the performance aspect, recognizing that they will do poorly on technical scores. So she's putting a lot of lifts in, and Karina clearly has no fear as she coaches The Situation on tossing her around in the air. She's going to break her neck. This is scary. Oof, here comes the actual routine. The first half is actually not that bad, but then there comes a point where The Situation just completely forgets to point his toes and it's horrible. And then the camera zooms in on a point where there were clearly supposed to be some kicks and flicks and The Situation just shuffles his feet. Oops. The lifts are pretty awesome, though, and certainly death-defying. I mean, there was little to no dancing in that dance.

Bruno says that there were an incredible amount of mistakes, which took away from his ability to perform. Bruno calls it terrible about a thousand times. Carrie Ann is a little nicer and says that there was improvement but it was pretty bad. Len congratulates Karina and says she's doing a great job with him. The Situation is just laughing. He knows, you guys. These scores are going to be scary. Technical scores: Carrie Ann 4, Len 4, and Bruno 4 for a total of 12. That was generous, honestly. Performance scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 5, and Bruno 5 for a total of 16 and an overall total of 28. Ouch. But not undeserved.

This week, Florence and Corky have the rumba. Gross. Not because they're old, but because Corky is grody. Florence got marks off last week for her technique, so Corky pushes her. His version of pushing her is to growl at her like a tiger. And then there's a whole thing where they bring in their kids to tell them if their routine is inappropriate and I hope it was a joke because SO GROSS. FLO GRABBED HIS JUNK! I HATE CORKY! Their dance starts and Florence has zero hip action. She needs to do yoga or something. It's a super careful rumba. And she might want to change her facial expression once in a while. Her footwork is still awful. And then there is grinding. Can I just close my eyes for a bit here?

Carrie Ann is dying laughing and she asks, "What just happened?" Carrie Ann thought it went a little too far and got uncomfortable. Me too, Carrie Ann. Len says that it was better than he expected. Bruno thinks they could have taken it down a notch, and the technique was not great. Here's the overall problem with this couple: Florence thinks Corky is sexy. Yuck. Technical scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 5 for a total of 17. Performance scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6 for a total of 18 and an overall total of 35. Overscored. That was a hot mess and in NO WAY was better than Kurt and Anna!

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Dancing With The Stars




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