Dancing With The Stars

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Monkeying Around

This week, Audrina and Tony have the rumba, so Tony thinks it will help with the judges' complaints that Audrina is aloof and icy. At one point, they are in hold, and he asks if she can go lower. She thinks that he means her hands, so she totally grabs his ass, but he meant her body. Oops. And then there's a whole thing about how eating onions and garlic will make it less awkward in an intimate situation. I guess because it can't accidentally get REAL, because your breath is so bad? So Audrina chomps on a raw onion. DUDE! I'm sure he meant cooked onions and garlic. Gross. Did it help her rumba? Okay, first of all the band is MURDERING "Unwritten," which is a great song. It's horrible. Like it took me a few minutes to realize what song it was, even though they told me it was the theme from The Hills, and I used to weecap that show. Anyway, the song is all wrong, and it kind of ruins the dance for me; I think Audrina lacks enough hip action, and it's not intimate enough. And if Audrina can't do sexy, what can she do?

Len liked it; he thought it was well-done and intimate enough. Bruno praises her technicality, but says that he wanted more passion. And he calls her plastic. Awesome. Carrie Ann says that everything was gorgeous from the hips down, but while her face is beautiful, her upper half doesn't express enough emotion. And Carrie Ann thinks she saw a lift, which Tony adamantly denies. So now I have to re-watch the whole thing to look for it. And boy, I don't know why they're praising Audrina's footwork, because it's not that great now that I'm staring at her feet, waiting for a lift. And there totally is a lift, right before the chorus of the song, during the words "something in the distance." Sorry, Tony. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 8 and Bruno 8 for a total of 23. And we know that Carrie Ann took a point off for the lift, so really they would have tied with Kurt and Anna.

Last week, Kyle agreed with the reasons that the judges dinged him, and he knows that he and Lacey have to climb back up to the top, since they were in second place the first week. Since they are dancing to Charlie's Angels, Lacey brings in Chelsie and Kym to rehearse with him, and each of them teaches him a different way. I think it's genius when they bring in another pro, and don't know why they don't do it more often. Look, I don't want to snark on someone eles's body, but those hip huggers make Lacey's butt look HUGE. Like at first, I thought she was purposely sticking out her butt a la Joey Fatone, but no, that's just her butt. She should never wear pants like that again. So their foxtrot is very '70s and very disco, and I love it for that. I love the disco moves. I don't know how traditional foxtrot they are, but I dig it, and they are clearly having a lot of fun. I don't know if his technique has improved, but his energy wins me over for the first time this week.

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Dancing With The Stars

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