Dancing With The Stars
Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 836 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Rock and Roll All Night

Len is impressed with Rick's hold and posture. Bruno would have liked a little more light and shade, but it was great. Carrie Ann thought he balanced his focus between the audience and Cheryl well, but he needs to be careful not to lose the personality in his face. Mr. Roboto. Also, why is Martha Stewart there? She should be on the show. Ooh, who would her pro be? Can you imagine her with Maks? Damn. The fireworks would fly. Two control freaks. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8.

Last week, no one understood why Bristol stayed on the show. I mean, really. She was in a gorilla costume and barely remembered the steps. How did that happen? In rehearsals, they work on their tango, and Bristol pushes for an air guitar section. Oh, dear. This is a terrible idea. So, their tango. Well, Bristol, like Audrina before her, doesn't seem to understand the difference between fierce and blank. Like she thinks "not smiling" equals "fierce," but instead, it comes across as "bored." The only time she shows any signs of life is during the air guitar segment, which is mercifully short, but seriously, if she can do that, why isn't she doing it ALL THE TIME? Her technique is improved, in that she remembers the steps and does them in the right order. And can I just go on a rant about this song, "According to You"? What kind of message is this sending? "I completely define myself by what the men in my life say about me"? The first time I heard this song, I was all excited that in the chorus, she was going to say, "According to me, I'm freaking awesome, so shove it, loser." But no. It's all about how her new boyfriend thinks she's awesome. Ugh. Gross.

Bruno thinks it was her best performance and her best technique to date. Carrie Ann calls it "ridiculously amazing" and says that her face was connected to everything. Really? Len says, "Last week a chimp, [this week] almost a champ." But he's going to drop them a point for breaking hold. Look, just because she got better doesn't mean that it was great. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 8. Overscored.

Dancing With The Stars

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