I'm just going to skip over the political updates, because it's not part of what I'm paid to recap. I do think it's weird that they are inserting it in the middle of the show. But it's less that I have to write about, although I probably just used the same amount of words explaining why I'm not writing about it. DAMMIT.
Len starts out by asking to see Team Apolo's routine again. I didn't think it was exactly head and shoulders above the other team, but whatever. I do love Anna, and since Kurt probably won't make it much further, it's yet another chance to see her dance. I hate when Maks does that move where he pulls up his pant leg with one hand. And did Derek and Jennifer change their choreography from last night? It seems flashier to me. I like it. I don't know if I mentioned it, but I was feeling really sick last night, so I may have blacked out during certain portions of the evening. I don't think I missed anything important, but it may have caused me to hate every single routine last night. Although I remember liking Brooke's dress.
Last night, Brandy was really nervous because this is LIFE OR DEATH. Maks encouraged her to have fun. They're putting microphones on the dancers this season, although they haven't used the footage all that much. But it lets us hear Brandy grunt when she makes a mistake, and we also get to hear how encouraging Maks is while they are waiting for their scores. So despite my misgivings about their partnership, at least on show night, Maks is really supportive. Then again, he knew he was miked. See? Why do I have to ruin it? Mark is also miked, and we get to hear him tell Bristol to go over the top with her performance. That was her going over the top? Eesh. After the routine, Bristol has a breakdown because she's tired and she says that she wants to go home. To see her boy? I thought he came to LA with her? I'm confused.
Time for the important voting results. No, not for a Senate race. For this show. Duh! Brandy and Maks are safe. Bristol and Mark are still in jeopardy. Good thing they did that one first, because it was the most obvious.
Ooh, I like this idea: The Dancing with the Stars Awards. I hope someone clever came up with them. The first is Most Dramatic Moment. The nominees are Christian's Arm Injury, Kate and Tony's Fight, Misty May's Injury, Marie Osmond's Collapse, and Kelly's Wardrobe Malfunction. I'm going to vote for Marie's collapse. And it's the winner! It really was dramatic, whether it was real or fake. I just remember thinking that I just saw someone die for real on television. Marie accepts from her show in Vegas. Man, her wig is terrible. She jokingly thanks Jonathan for not catching her. Girl, Jonathan put up with a lot from you. I hope you did thank him for real.