It's the semifinals! That is exactly half of the finals! Or would that be the demifinals? And why don't we have demifinals, anyway? And why didn't they promote last week's episode as the quarterfinals? None of these questions will be answered tonight, live.

Other questions that won't be answered: Did Tom get a haircut? Why is Brooke dressed like an awards statuette? Why is Brooke so bad at reading from the teleprompter? Is that Lacey's real hair? Does Mark show more skin since Bristol is showing less? How many pain pills is Jennifer Grey taking exactly? How many spangled epaulets do the costumers have at their disposal? Who thought crimping Brandy's hair would be a good idea? Is Kyle's tie made of leather? Why?

Brandy and Maks are up first. We have to revisit Maks and Carrie Ann's argument, even though it has been reported that they hugged and made up after the show. Instead, we get to see it as an opportunity for Maks and Brandy to bond. In rehearsals, Brandy is wearing silver boots. Is she auditioning to be Wonder Woman?

Brandy and Maks will be performing their paso doble first, and in this round, the celebrity has to do a solo. So the beginning of their routine makes me really uncomfortable, despite some excellent dancing, because the storyline seems to be that Maks is an abusive husband and Brandy is the frightened wife who visibly cringes as he threatens her. I think they oversold that because it seriously skeeved me out. But then Maks walks away and Brandy does her solo where she reclaims her power and tells Maks what for. I enjoyed that part, although the rest of the routine seemed to kind of lose the plot. It didn't help that the singer was really horrible and couldn't hit the high notes. That was distracting.

Len compliments them for giving it their all and coming out on attack. Bruno loved the attack too, but warns Brandy not to lose her finesse. Carrie Ann loved Brandy's connection to her character, and also compliments Brandy's upper body shapes. Backstage, Brandy explains that their paso doble was about bullying, and having the bullied person taking power back. Okay, that makes a little more sense. I guess I was too into the marriage scenario. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9.

Jennifer and Derek are the next couple to dance. Tom reminds us that they got the season's first perfect score last week. And now Jennifer says that she's rejuvenated. She probably also got the message that people were kind of sick of her whining about her injuries. I mean, I get that they are serious, but either quit or suck it up, you know?