Wendy Williams is up next. I am most familiar with her from The Soup. She's kind of ridiculous, but she knows it, and I kind of like that. I think she would be exhausting in real life, and Tony is stuck with her. I don't like Tony, but he gets the handfuls, doesn't he? They start rehearsing and Wendy isn't really putting it out there as like she usually does. She cries a lot. She says it's her stress relief. This is going to be a long season for Tony. Or a really short one.

Let's see their cha cha cha. All right. Here's what I don't expect from Wendy Williams necessarily: great dancing, great form, grace, charm, elegance. Here's what I do expect from Wendy Williams: tons and tons of attitude and charisma. And her dance has none of those things. She's timid, she's up in her head, she has no hip action, her footwork is terrible. I mean, it's the first time out. Maybe she'll get better if she lets go a bit. But she's like Bristol-level bad. Then again, Bristol made the finals. She shuffles around the floor stiffly. This is going to sound catty, but she has piano legs and she shouldn't wear a short skirt like that. Ugh. It's just awful, and I had high hopes that she would be a Niecy Nash or even a Kelly Osbourne type -- maybe not the greatest dancer, but totally working it and selling it. And she doesn't. Judges? Bruno tells her how beautiful she is, and she's just marking the routine. She needs to bring out her fire and personality. Carrie Ann thinks she was terrified, and Wendy says that she was thrown when they showed her crying on the roll-in piece. Carrie Ann advises her to "unleash the beast." Len also advises her to bring her personality out, because she was too timid. She has to sell it next week. Scores: Carrie Ann 5, Len 4, and Bruno 5. Those are totally fair. She has to do better next week. Wendy claims she did the best that she could this week, but I don't think that's true. I hope she takes this to heart because I think she could be really entertaining.

Next up is Hines Ward, Pittsburgh Steeler, who claims he can't really dance. So that's promising. He's partnered with Kym, who I love. They start rehearsing, and she reminds him that she was partnered with Warren Sapp so she's used to working with athletes. He starts doing the running man and boy, he is not a good dancer. At one point, he drops Kym right on her back. But he is a hard worker, and seems really intense about winning. He's really tiny too. I expect pro athletes to be taller. Maybe Kym is really tall.