Kendra Wilkinson describes herself as a sexy tomboy, and reminds us that she's a wife and mother, not just a whore. I mean, girlfriend of Hugh Hefner. Kendra thinks she has a lot of moves. Well, she can shake her ass and boobs. OMG, then Kendra says the greatest quote of all time: "This cha cha is going to be hot. Not club hot. But classy hot." She really is like a Christopher Guest character, isn't she? I bet she likes soup. And talking and not talking.

Kendra and Louis are about to do their cha cha cha. Here's the problem. She looks great in her little dress, and she sure can shake her hips, but she has no musicality or rhythm. And she's just flinging her arms around with wild abandon. And then, on top of all that, she looks terrified. I think she might have screwed up a little bit early on and it threw her, because she acts like a spooked horse. What did the judges think? Len says that she held his interest, and the content was great, but she needs to straighten her legs at times. Bruno says she brought on a "full-frontal attack" but she does need to straighten her legs. Carrie Ann points out that she didn't miss a step (so I guess I was wrong about that) but she needs to work on something more. Her spots? Her spa? Her stop? I don't know. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6. That was generous. I think they were mesmerized by her boobs.

Ralph Macchio doesn't shy away from the Karate Kid label, and why fight it? He's dancing with Karina. When they meet, Karina says that Ralph looks exactly the same as he did twenty-eight years ago. I think he's wearing a rug. Is he wearing a rug? His hair looks weird. Ralph is really smart, and he overanalyzes the dance and Karina tells him, "Overanalysis creates paralysis." So true, Karina. Wisdom for the ages.