Dancing With The Stars

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Sob Story

The theme this week is telling a story through dance. I always have a problem with this theme week, because shouldn't every dance tell a story in a way? Or at least the best ones? Although this one does seem a bit different because it's about telling a personal story, as opposed to acting a part. So anyway, stories. They're telling some.

Tom and Brooke welcome us. Brooke's boobs look bigger. Is she pregnant again? Calling it. She's knocked up. I think I see a bump. Either that, or she overdid it with the pasta at dinner. You know, if Kendra feels masculine, she should stand next to Wendy Williams for a while. I bet Tony feels feminine standing next to her.

Tom explains that there are a lot of different dance styles tonight, so the troupe is back to show us what they should look like. I love this. I mean, I don't really need this, because after recapping this show for many seasons, I know what a paso doble should look like, although I wouldn't mind hearing judges' commentary about what they are looking for. That would be helpful. They also demonstrate the rumba and the samba. Nice job, everyone.

The first dancer this week is Wendy Williams. She did terribly the first week and improved a bit the second week. So now Tony is trying to help her figure out how to make this week's dance personal. Wendy talks about how she got started in radio, and she was commuting between DC and NYC and slept in her car. Tony thinks it took a lot of strength. So somehow this is going to translate into a foxtrot.

They're doing the foxtrot to "Last Night a DJ Saved My Life." And it's not horrible, at least compared to the first week. The thing is, Wendy is SO MUCH BETTER when she's not in hold. In the opening, she actually boogies a little bit, and then they go into hold and she goes all stiff and tense and ungainly. Then they break hold and she's really good. I don't know what it is about being in hold that causes her to lose the rhythm and any sense of grace. Judges? Len says he knows that she worked hard, but it lacked fluidity. Bruno tells her that she was imposing but she needs to be long and flowing. Carrie Ann loves that she's a strong, brave woman, but she took a step backward from what she did last week. Scores: Carrie Ann 5, Len 5 and Bruno 5 for a total of 15. Ouch.

I forgot Chelsea and Mark were on this show. Even though they stood out for breaking the rules last week, Chelsea still falls right out of my head. In rehearsals, Chelsea starts out by asking if they can follow the rules AND entertain the audience. Yes! You can! Don't listen to stupid Mark. He's an idiot. Anyway, they are dancing to a song written by Chelsea's first boyfriend. She tells the whole story about how they met and he was in a band and he wrote the song and I was sure it was going to end with, "And that band is Snow Patrol" or something. Anyway, Mark tries to get Chelsea to be sexy and flirty, and she's not feeling it, because she feels likes a dork.

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Dancing With The Stars

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